Mark Brewer
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岁的达娜·安德森（Dana Anderson）是犹他州法明顿市（Farmington）一家百货商店的营销代表。她曾梦见上司把自己叫到他的办公室，谈论她的工作表现。他告诉达娜，虽然她很善于团队合作，但必须准时上班。
接下来，安德森爬到上司的办公桌上，跳起了脱衣舞。他一把抱住她，热烈地吻她。
醒来之后，她说道，“天哪，和他做这种事？真是龌龊。”
我们大多数人，如果坦诚相见的话，都会承认，自己曾经梦见和一位或两位同事有过床笫之欢。有时候，这些同事是你在现实生活中所锺情的人。
视频：哈佛心理学家解读几个常见梦境哈佛医学院的一位心理学家解释了包含飞翔、考试、在公共场所赤身裸体等几个常见梦境的背后含义。
但是，大多数情况是，梦中的亲昵对象往往是平时身边夸夸其谈、大放厥词的人，或者是办公室里的竞争对手，甚至是让人敬而远之的老板──总而言之，是我们在现实生活中不愿意接近的人。那么，为什么要关注这样的梦呢？它们能为我们提供什么暗示吗？
专家们说，通过意象和象征，梦可以透露一些我们在其他时候没有注意到的重要玄机。《睡眠委员会》（The Committee of Sleep）一书的作者、哈佛医学院（Harvard Medical School）教授、心理学家迪尔德丽·巴雷特（Deirdre Barrett）说，梦是“另一种思想模式”。
虽然，我们做的大多数和性有关的梦并不真的和性爱有关。如果你梦到你工位旁边的那个书呆子，这可能意味着，你的潜意识建议你应该调整对他的看法，应该学着和他更为融洽地合作。或者，他有一些优点，比如电脑用得很熟练、待人友善──你应该好好向他学习。如果你的梦中情人是你的上司，那么这时的潜意识可能在暗示你，在工作中或生活中的其他方面应更为主动一些。
《诠释梦境，改变生活》（Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life）一书的作者、梦境分析师劳里·劳温伯格（Lauri Loewenberg）说，“梦就像是我们与自我之间的交流。”她说，我们在睡眠的时候，我们平日里的焦虑、恐惧和有意识的偏见就会减弱，“我们的意识里只剩下最深入的、最有见地的、最真实的想法。”
几年前，当我梦到与一个现实生中无法忍受的同事浪漫约会的时候，我的潜意识要向我透露什么信息呢？在那个梦里，开始的时候，我们两个人坐在饭馆的一张桌子旁，两个人亲昵地在桌下互相轻碰着对方的脚。我请劳温伯格帮我解析这个梦，我告诉她，当时我对工作很不开心，很羡慕那个同事的职位。她让我注意用脚碰对方这个细节。她说，那个梦提醒我，我应该设法采取“步骤”，把渴望的工作争取到手。她说，“梦里的东西都是有一定意义的。”
在安德森梦见自己在上司（现在已成为前任上司了）面前大跳裸体舞那天的白天里，公司绩效考核结果公布，她的评分很不理想。她记得，在梦中，她曾经想到，“我要给他看一份进度报告。”
这个梦甚至有力地证明她后来态度的改变会收到效果──上司当即脱掉身上的衣服，两个人开始做爱。后来，在那个梦里，办公室的门被推开，商场的人力资源总监走了进来。
你听说过有人说自己从来不做梦吗？那他说的肯定不是事实。所有哺乳动物都要经历快速眼球运动（REM）睡眠，这种睡眠是伴随着做梦的。巴雷特博士（Dr. Barrett）和其他研究人员认为，所有哺乳动物肯定都会做梦。
45岁的薇姬·雅各布森（Vickie Jacobson）是田纳西州纳什维尔（Nashville）的一名电脑制图员。她记得自己做过的一个梦。在梦里，她和上司在一个旧式客厅里的维多利亚风格的沙发上做爱。她将那个梦看作是她渴望了解新公司企业文化的一种表现。
她说，“在我先前工作的那家公司里，你必须不停地干活儿。而在这家公司，人们尽可以互相交流，相互沟通，相互欣赏。”她没有将自己的这个梦告诉别人。
什么时候才可以告诉同事，说对方曾在你的性爱梦中扮演过主要角色？只有在你深深地被对方吸引，准备开诚布公地和对方发展关系的时候。
2007年，蒙特利尔大学（Universite de Montreal）的研究人员对3,500个梦进行研究之后，认为我们做的梦8%和性有关。
在梦里，人们的性爱对象是些什么人？在女人的性爱梦里，20%的性爱对象是现在或过去的伴侣，相比之下，对于男人，这个数字是14%。女人梦见和公共人物共沐爱河的几率是男人的两倍；而男人梦见与多名性伴侣缱绻难分的几率是女人的两倍。
巴雷特说，其他研究表明，不论是男人，还是女人，被动的性爱梦比主动的性爱梦更多；男人和女人相比，被动的性爱梦略多一点。
对于男人来说，梦境中性爱的表现往往同焦虑有关。典型的情形是，做爱的时候有一群人推门而入。或者，在性爱过程中，性伴侣会变成某种可怕的东西，比如长出鳞片或变成长毛的怪物。女人经常会梦见自己在抵抗非礼行为或性骚扰。
巴雷特博士说，中世纪基督教会的修女和神父有时会说梦淫妖在他们熟睡的时候与他们做爱。对于这种过程的描述，有的令人恐怖，而有的则充满了肌肤相亲的愉悦体验。学者认为，这些令人恐怖或向往的描述说的就是性爱梦。
深更半夜遭受妖怪的非礼诚然令人恐怖，但是和不喜欢的同事上床感觉就会比这好吗？不，后者才真的是一场噩梦。劳温伯格说，对于新员工来说，“正如弗洛伊德所说，有时候雪茄只是雪茄。梦可以帮助我们稍微缓解一点压力。”
Dana Anderson, a 31-year-old in Farmington, Utah, dreamed that
her boss at the department store where she works called her into his office to talk about her performance as a marketing representative. He said she was a great team player but had to get to work on time.
Ms. Anderson climbed onto the boss's desk and did a striptease. He grabbed her and kissed her.
'Whoa,' she thought when she woke up. 'Why him? That was gross.'
Most of us, if we're honest, will admit to having a steamy dream or two about a work colleague. Sometimes, it is someone we really are attracted to when we're awake.
But often our dream date is the loudmouth down the hall, our office adversary, even the scary boss -- in short, someone we avoid even standing near in real life. So why pay attention to dreams like this? Are they trying to tell us something?
With imagery and symbolism, dreams can reveal important insights that we might not consciously notice otherwise, experts say. Dreams are 'a different mode of thought,' says Deirdre Barrett, a psychologist, professor at Harvard Medical School and author of the book 'The Committee of Sleep.'
Most of our sex dreams, though, aren't really about sex. Your dream about the nerd in the next cubicle might be a suggestion from your unconscious to adjust your view and learn to work better with this person. Or maybe your co-worker has a trait -- computer skills, a genial personality -- that you would do well do emulate. If your dream lover is the boss, your unconscious might be telling you to take control at work or in some other area of your life.
'Dreams are a conversation with the self,' says Lauri Loewenberg, dream analyst and author of the book 'Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life.' When we sleep, the anxieties, fears and prejudices of the conscious mind fall away, she says. 'We are left with our deepest, most insightful and brutally honest thoughts.'
What was my unconscious trying to tell me, years ago, when I dreamed of being on a romantic date with a colleague whom I couldn't stand in real life? The narrative began with us playing footsie under the table at a restaurant. I asked Ms. Loewenberg for help interpreting the dream, mentioning I was unhappy in my job at the time and coveted my colleague's position. She said by bringing attention to my feet, my sleeping mind was telling me I needed to take steps to get the job I wanted. 'Nothing in a dream is random,' she says.
Ms. Anderson had her dream of dancing naked for her (now former) boss after she got a poor job-performance review earlier that day. She says she thinks the dream was telling her to demonstrate that she was a good performer. She remembers thinking in the dream, 'I will show him a progress report.'
The dream even offered her compelling evidence that her new attitude would pay off -- when the boss shed his clothes and the two of them began having sex. In the dream, the office door opened, and the store's human resources director walked in.
Do you know someone who says he doesn't dream? He's mistaken. All mammals experience REM sleep, which is associated with dreaming, and Dr. Barrett and other researchers believe they do dream.
Vickie Jacobson, a 45-year-old computer drafter from Nashville, Tenn., remembers a dream in which she had sex with her boss on a Victorian couch in an old-fashioned parlor. She took it as an expression of her desire to assimilate in the corporate culture at her new job.
'I had come from a company where all you did was work, work, work. And this was a company where it's all about interacting and communicating and taking an interest in one another,' she says. She kept her dream to herself.
Are there ever circumstances where you should tell a colleague that he or she had a starring role in one of your sex dreams? Only if you are attracted to the person and open to exploring a relationship. Otherwise, keep mum.
In a 2007 study of 3,500 dream reports, researchers at the Universite de Montreal determined that we have sex dreams about 8% of the time.
Whom did people say they had sex with in their dreams? Women dreamed of current or past partners 20% of the time, compared with 14% for men. Women were twice as likely to dream of public figures, while men were twice as likely to dream of multiple sex partners.
Other studies have shown that both men and women have more negative sexual dreams than positive ones, and men have slightly more negative sexual dreams than women do, says Dr. Barrett.
For men, the anxieties often relate to sexual performance. A common scenario is of having sex when a group of people walk in. Or a sexual partner will morph into something scary, maybe growing scales or fur. Women often dream about fending off unwanted advances, or of being sexually assaulted.
In the medieval Christian church, nuns and priests sometimes reported that demons, called incubi and succubi, had sex with them while they were sleeping, Dr. Barrett says. Some accounts were scary, but others were of pleasant sexual experiences. Scholars believe they are accounts of sexual dreams.
An unwanted advance from an evil spirit in the middle of the night is one thing. But a roll in the hay with the office bore? Now that's a real nightmare. As for the hot new hire, Ms. Lowenberg says, 'Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, as Freud put it. The dream can be an innocent little pressure reliever.'
