Even if you're clever and educa
ted, you could still be guilty of making these popular but
annoying speaking mistakes.
即使你很聪明也受过教育,但是你仍然可能会因为犯一些常见但很烦人的
口语错误而充满罪恶感。
There's a lot you can change about your presentation to make yourself seem smarter(and, hey, if you want to go for substance over style, plenty of ways to actually be smarter), but few have a bigger impact than eliminating bad speech habits.
关于
演讲,你可以做很多改变来让你自己看起来更聪明(另外,嘿,如果你主张内容重于风格,那么有很多方法可以让你实际上听起来更聪明),但是没有什么能比改掉演讲中的坏习惯更有效果。
You're an educated person, however, who knows to stay away from "ain't," avoids the valley girl staple "like," and steers clear of fillers like "ummm." Does that mean your speech is as polished as it could be? Chances are that no matter how clever and careful you are, you're still making at least a few
inadvertent errors that lower others' opinion of your
intelligence .
你是一个受过教育的人,然而,谁知道要远离"ain't(不是)",避免山里的女娃特爱说的"like",以及绕开使用诸如"ummm(嗯)" 之类的填充词呢。那是否意味着你的演讲能和预期一样达到精彩绝伦呢?可能的情况是:无论你多么聪明和细心,你仍然会犯一些会降低你在他人心中的聪明程度的无心的错误。
That's the message of an interesting recent post from Sarah Winfrey on blog WiseBread. Rather than the usual suspects of poor speaking, Winfrey digs up some speech habits that are less often commen
ted on but no less annoying and that even people who pay attention to their communication style are often guilty of. Here are five of the best:
这是Sarah Winfrey最近在WiseBread博客上写的一篇有意思的文章所表达的观点。不像通常那种
口语差的主题,这篇文章中Winfrey发现有些
演讲习惯很少被人评论,但是容易让人厌烦,并且当人们注意到自己的沟通风格中也会不经意用到时会充满罪恶感。下面是用的最多的5个:
1. "I know, right?"
“我知道,对吧?”
Popular among eager-to-please 20-somethings, this phrase sounds
innocuous but is actually pretty
awkward . "It asks a question that the other person may not know whether or not to answer. Since you're asking them to
affirm something they just said, using this can make the other person in the conversation confused, and it can make you look like you don't know what to say," explains Winfrey.
Opt for a simple "Oh, yeah" or just receptive silence instead, she advises.
这句话在急于取悦别人的20多岁的人中很流行,它听起来无伤大雅但是实际上非常尴尬。Winfrey解释说“它附带的问题让其他人不知道回答还是不回答。你让他们确认他们刚刚说的东西,用这句话会让谈话中的其他人感到困惑,而且这也会显得你似乎不知道该说什么。”
2. "You'll be fine."
“你会没事的”
Maybe the person you say this to really will be fine, but chances are he or she will think you're a
bonehead . "When something bad happens to someone we care about, we want to make them feel better. We want to make the situation better, so we tell them, 'You'll be fine.' Unfortunately, this is
dismissive and sends a clear message that you aren't interes
ted in listening to them. Even if this isn't at all what you want to say, this is your message when you use these words," argues Winfrey. According to her, saying nothing is better than using this aggravating phrase.
也许听你讲这句话的人确实会没事,但是可能情况是:他或她会觉得你是个傻瓜。Winfrey认为“当有什么不好的事情发生在我们关心的人身上时,我们想让他们感觉好一点。我们想让情况变得好一点,所以我们告诉他们,‘你会没事的’。不幸的是,这句话很冷漠,它清晰的传达出一种信息,你没兴趣听他们诉说。即使这不是你想表达的意思,但是你使用这句话时,你传达出的就是这种意思”。她还表示,不说话也比说这个令人恼怒的话要好。
3. "I think you should..."
“我认为你应该...”
What could be wrong with a little well-meant advice? Plenty,
contends Winfrey. "If someone comes to you and asks, 'What do you think I should do about this?' it's fine to give them advice. Otherwise, just don't. Offering advice when it wasn't reques
ted makes you sound
pompous , or at least like you enjoy appearing to be clever," she warns, suggesting guilty parties listen harder and ask better questions instead.
小小的善意的建议能有什么错呢?Winfrey认为大错特错。Winfrey警告说“如果有人问你,‘关于这个你认为我应该做些什么呢?’那么给他们提些建议没有问题。否则,不要提建议。别人没有要求你直接提建议会显得你很自大,或者至少显得你喜欢显摆自己很聪明”,她建议说错话而有罪恶感的人们努力倾听,用问问题来更好的替代。
4."I'm not judging you, but..."
“我不是在评论你,但是...”
Sorry, but yes you are. As soon as you say this you're being doubly annoying. It's clear to anyone even half awake that you are, in fact, being
judgmental and, to add
insult to injury, you're pretending that you're not. Quit it!
抱歉,但是你就是。只要你说这句话,毋庸置疑,你会让人很厌烦。对于所有人甚至是半清醒的人都是显而易见的,实际上,你就是在评论他们,假装你没有更是雪上加霜。不要用这个句子了!
"The very fact that you are thinking in terms of judging means that you are making some sort of judgment about them in your own head. And this isn't good for you or for them," writes Winfrey. If you're guilty of saying this regularly, you might be guilty of being a little too judgmental of others. Try to
tame that
tendency "by thinking up reasons why the other person's actions might make sense, and speak to them from that place of understanding," suggests Winfrey.
Winfrey写道“事实上,judging(评论)的意思是在自己脑海中对他们做出某种判断。这个对你或他们来说都不好”。如果你对经常说这句话感到愧疚,那么你也可能对有点太武断的评断他人感到愧疚。Winfrey建议“通过思考为什么其他人的行为有意义,并且从你理解的地方开始同他们交谈。”来改变这种陋习。
5. Big words
不常用或不熟悉的词
Here's a bonus fifth mistake that doesn't come from WiseBread but definitely bears repeating in this context. If you're a fan of using big words to demonstrate the breadth of your vocabulary and the brilliance of your thinking, be warned: Studies show that using fancy words when simple ones will do is a sure-fire way to end up looking dumb. So before you get out the
thesaurus in an attempt to impress, remember that simplicity and clarity are generally a better signal of mastery than flowery language.
这附加的第五个错误不是出自于WiseBread,但是觉得有必要在这篇文章中重复一下。如果你喜欢通过说大家都不熟悉或不常用的词来展示你词汇的广度以及你才华横溢,小心了:研究表明,当简单的词汇就能表达你的意思时,使用华丽的辞藻毫无疑问会显得你很愚蠢。所以,在你抛开同义词典尝试给别人留下印象前,记住简洁、清晰明了的说法比华丽的辞藻更能表明你精通一门语言。