Case:
Characters: xiaoli, a Chinese person
Mary, an American, xiaoli’s friend, much older than xiaoli
Fangfang , five- year- old girl, xiaoli’s daughter
On Sunday afternoon, xiaoli gave Mary a call, said :” could I bring my daughter to your house, I am very boring and have nothing to do. Mary felt surprised but said:” ok.”
When xiaoli and her daughter arrived at Mary’s house, xiaoli told fangfang to say hello to your grandma. Mary was shocked, and said:” you can call me aunt. Xiaoli thought:” you are even older than my mother, grandma sounds more suitable and respectable. And then, Mary said to xiaoli:”I like your new haircut.” Xiaoli said:” no, no, that’s not good enough” The respond made Mary confused.
They came in the house, xiaoli asked:” where is your husband, why only yourself?” Mary answered:” he has something in company.” “He is so busy, he must be a very important person in the company and he must have a high salary.” While Mary said:” Would you like a cup of coffee?” After that both xiaoli and Mary felt very embarrassed.
All above mentioned includes four differences between American culture and Chinese culture.
1. Why xiaoli’s call makes Mary surprised? Chinese people are used to visiting others without an arrangement. They think that when they both are free, visiting each other is a good way to enhance their relationship. While American people hardly ever visit others without invitation. Even if they want to invite somebody, they will consult a time in advanced. They respect time very much. They think invite somebody means you borrow time of others.
2. Why “grandma” makes Mary shocked? For Chinese people, grandma is a respectable address. Most of time, the address depends on someone’s age. However, they prefer to be called younger. “Aunt” is a kind of safe address even for elder women.
3. Why xiaoli’s respond for Mary’s compliment makes Mary confused? Chinese people are indirect. They always are modest to receive compliments, because since the ancient time of China modesty has been regarded as a virtue. They used to responding praise with” no, no.” “not so good.” However, Americans are straight forward. They often accept a compliment with “thank you.” They regard modesty as unconfident.
4. Why Mary refuses to answer xiaoli’s questions. Chinese people used to asking others’ age, marital status, salary, personal life. They regard it as concerns. However, Americans think these things are too private to talk about. When you ask them these questions, they may think you violate their right of privacy.
As all above mentioned we could draw the conclusion that there are exist lots of differences between America and china indeed. All of these differences are caused by one main reason. American culture is based on individualism, while Chinese culture is based on collectivism.
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