第二职业？慢慢来

Trying to Start a Second Career? Take Your Time.
第二职业？慢慢来

What's the biggest mistake people make when it comes to starting a second career?

NATALIE CAINE: Deciding what career to launch next is like deciding to date again. You wouldn't start your date in the bedroom would you? If more than a night mattered to you, you would get to know each other first through common interests, attraction, values, gifts and challenges, etc.

Over and over people share with me their passion to be passionate. Their blind spot is unrealistic expectations that sound like this, 'I should have more success by now,' or 'I should have the answers by now,' or 'They should have called me by now.' Get to know who you are and who you aren't. Then pull up needed inner and outer resources from the discovery of who you are and aren't today.
A woman wanted to make a difference with kids. She wanted to start kid clubs where they could express their creativity without judgment. She researched location and budget. What she skipped was seeing what programs existed and then chatting with people about their day on the job. She ran to open by the summer as it was spring time. She forgot to sit in her imaginary club and notice what she saw, how she felt, and what she was doing. The big, big question for embarking on your second career is: Would this give you new meaning in life?

The bottom line is that a second career asks you to get to know parts of yourself that may have gone dormant, like the researcher, the observer, the giver, the artist, the collaborator. The second career brings up the question, are you a risk taker with a net or without a net? Who is on your team that believes in you and has the skills to mentor you?

Do you have a tendency to quit too soon or stay too long? Are you going to pause or take a happy break in order to keep your creativity thriving?

Second careers are exciting because they bring new vibrancy, which is probably what has been missing.

Slow down. Ask for help. Course correct from feedback you receive. Decrease your habit of comparing yourself to others.

You are a beginner, again. Isn't that refreshing? You have never been here before so keep self-compassion a priority. Step up. Move forward. Fall down. Get Up. Shift. Begin, again.

第二职业最大的误区是什么？

纳塔莉·凯恩(Natalie Caine)说，选择第二职业和再次约会差不多。你总不会在卧室里开始约会吧？不想一夜情，就要先彼此了解对方，看看有哪些共同爱好，找找对方的魅力点，让你认同的价值观，互相送点礼物，再共同经历点挫折什么的。

总是有人意气昂扬地和我说起他们要大干一番，但他们没有意识到自己的期望有时候并不切合实际，比方有人说：我本该比现在更有成就啊，我现在应该知道答案才对啊，他们怎么还没给我打电话啊。你先要弄清楚自己的能力和局限，然后再想办法利用自身和外部的一些资源去试着改变现状。

曾经有位女士想给孩子创造一个与众不同的地方，她想成立一个儿童俱乐部，让孩子能够不受约束地展现他们的创造力。俱乐部的位置和预算她都考察到了，但她忘了了解目前这种项目都有哪些，忘了和业内人交流一下日常的工作。她迫不及待地要在夏天就把俱乐部办起来，却忘了想像一下办起来之后会遇到哪些情况，会有哪些感受，会有哪些工作等着她。当你决定开始你的第二职业，一个最最重要的问题就是：这会给你的生活带来新的意义吗？

归根结底，第二职业是要唤醒人们可能沉睡了的那部分潜质，这些潜质可能会让你成为一个研究者，一个观察者，一个给予者、艺术家或是合作者。第二职业需要你回答的问题是：你对自己冒的风险有没有准备？谁在你身边支持你、相信你、有能力引导你？

你是那种遇到困难就放弃的人吗？你是那种不见黄河不死心的人吗？你会让自己主动慢下来以便保持旺盛的创造力吗？

第二职业能让人感受到久违的活力，让人振奋不已。

但请你放慢脚步，找找帮手，参考别人的意见矫正自己的方向。不要总和别人比短长。

再说一遍，你是新手，很新鲜，初来乍到，要宽容自己，一步步来，向前走，摔倒了爬起来，调整一下，再开始。