自尊感的六个支柱 The Six Pillars of Self-esteeem
作者:纳撒尼尔·布兰登(Nathaniel Branden)
练习心理治疗四十多年来,我一直被这个问题占据着:当人们在加强他们的自尊时,做对了什么;当人们在降低他们的自尊时,又做错了什么?在“自尊的六个支柱”中,我检测出六个练习,发现它们对培养自尊十分必要,而这与我的治疗师工作密不可分。这里,我只能介绍最简短的“六大支柱”的核心。Over more than four decades of practicing psychotherapy, I have been preoccupied with the question of what people are doing right when they are strengthening their self-esteem and what they are doing wrong when they are undermining it. In “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem,” I examine the six practices that I have found to be essential for nurturing self-esteem, and that have been indispensable to my work as a therapist. Here, I can only suggest the briefest essence of “the six pillars.”
The practice of living consciously: respect for facts; being present to what we are doing while we are doing it; seeking and being eagerly open to any information, knowledge or feedback that bears on our interests, values, goals, and projects; seeking to understand not only the world external to self but also our inner world, so that we do not act out of self-made blindness (Branden, 1999).
练习有意识地生活:尊重这个事实;当我们在做一件事情的时候,与这件事同在;去寻找、热切地向符合我们兴趣、价值观、目标、项目的任何信息、知识或反馈敞开;试图不光光去理解自我的外在世界,也要去理解我们的内在世界,这样我们才不会因自己制造出的盲目而行动。(布兰登,1999)
The practice of self-acceptance: the willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, without evasion, denial, or disowning — and also without self-repudiation; the virtue of realism applied to the self.
练习自我接纳:乐意去拥有,体验,并为我们的思想、情绪、行为负责,不逃避、不否认、不脱离——也不自我抛弃;将现实主义的美德运用于自我。The practice of self-responsibility: realizing that we are the author of our choices and actions; that each one of us is responsible for our life and well-being, and for the attainment of our goals; and that if we need the cooperation of other people to achieve our goals, we must offer values in exchange, since no one exists merely to serve us (Branden, 1997).
练习自我负责:意识到我们创造了自己的选择和行为;我们每一个人都对我们的生活和健康、以及实现我们的目标负有责任;如果我们需要与他人合作来实现我们的目标,就必须提供相应的价值来交换,因为没有人存在只是为了服务我们(布兰登,1997)。
The practice of self-assertiveness: being authentic in dealings with others; treating our values and person with decent respect in our social interactions; willingness to stand up for our ideas and ourselves in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts.
练习自我主张:真诚地与他人交流;社交互动中,怀着用得体的尊敬对待我们的价值、对待他人;在合适的情境中,以一种合适的方式,愿意为我们的想法、为自己挺身而出。
The practice of living purposefully: identifying our short-term and long-term goals or purposes and the actions needed to attain them (formulating an action-plan); organizing behavior in the service of those goals; monitoring action to be sure we stay on track; and paying attention to outcome to recognize if we need to go back to the drawing board.
练习有目的地生活:确认我们的短期目标(或目的)和长期目标(或目的),以及为了实现它所需要的行动(制定行动-计划);安排组织能服务于这些目标的行为;监督行动以保证我们在正规上;关注结果,以辨别我们是否需要回到蓝图上。
The practice of personal integrity: living with congruence between what we know, what we profess, and what we do; manifesting our professed values in action.
练习个人的诚实:保持所知、所言、所为的一致;用行动来体现我们所宣扬的价值。
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