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曾经有人说，HR是职场中最不能得罪的人物之一。HR凭借三寸不烂之舌可以让你“怎么做都不对”。不信的话，就来看看下面的这番HR语录，告诉我们一个道理——千万别惹HR！
Dress Code｜关于穿着
1. It is advisedthat you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearingPrada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financiallyand therefore do not need a pay raise.
建议你工作时穿着要和你的薪水相匹配。如果我们看到你穿着普拉达的鞋子和提着古琦的包包，我们会认为你财务状况很好，因而不需要加薪。
2. If you dresspoorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buynicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
如果你穿得很寒碜，你需要学习更好地管理你的钱财，那样你可以买更好的衣服，因此你也无需加薪。
3. If you dressjust right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need apay raise.
如果你穿得很适合，这正适合你的身份，因此你也不需要加薪。
Sick Days｜关于病假
We will no longeraccept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able togo to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
我们不再需要医生出具的病历证明。如果你能够去看医生，你也能来工作。
Holiday Days｜关于休假
Each employee willreceive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
每个员工每年都会有104天的个人时间——它们就是周六和周日。
CompassionateLeave｜关于丧假
This is no excusefor missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives orco-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to thearrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, thefuneral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow youto work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
不工作是没有任何借口的。你并不能为你死去的朋友、亲人或同事们干些什么。应当努力确保没有员工参与追悼会的安排。极少数情况下当员工的参加是必须时，追悼会要安排在下午的晚些时候；我们很高兴地允许你午餐时间一直工作，然后提前一小时下班去参加追悼会。
Toilet Use｜如厕
1. Entirely toomuch time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute timelimit in the cubicles.
很多的时间被消耗在厕所里。现在一个精确的3分钟限制装置安装在洗手间里。
2. At the end ofthree minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, thecubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.
三分钟过后，警报器会响起，厕纸卷会反应，洗手间的门会打开，你会被拍照。
3. After yoursecond offense, your picture will be posted on the company notice board underthe 'Chronic Offenders' category.
违规二次后，你的相片将会被贴在公司公告栏的“如厕违反者”目录下。
4. Anyone caughtsmiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company’s mental healthpolicy.
任何在相片中面带笑容的人将会根据公司的身体健康政策进行处罚。
Lunch Break｜午餐
1. Skinny peopleget 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can lookhealthy.
瘦削的人花30分钟吃午餐，为了看起来健康，他们要吃很多。
2. Normal sizepeople get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain theiraverage figure.
正常体型的人花15分钟吃午餐，为了保持体形，他们吃均衡的食物。
3. Chubby peopleget 5 minutes for lunch, because that all the time needed to drink aSlim-Fast.
丰满的人花5分钟吃午餐，因为随时都要喝快速瘦身饮料。
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