英国人的潜规则。别看你英文好，英国人的弦外之音你听得懂吗？

英国人非常客气，很讨人喜欢，但如果把英国人说的话从字面上理解，那就是大错特错。我曾经在一家英国公司工作十多年，充分感受到了要理解英国人的话简直需要一本字典。我特地去买了一本美国人写的有关英国人的潜规则的书，“Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour.” 这本书在美国很畅销，可见美国人对英国人的英语后面的潜台词也并不清楚。有个美国朋友在英国住了几年后，自豪地告诉我说她又学了一门外语：英国英语。

不信？那让我来举例说明。如果他们说“我有一点点失望”，其实他的意思是非常生气。英国人说，“这挺有意思”，意思就是他完全不信。有時候英國人裝作隨意，“碰巧说起”，其实下面要说的才是重点。就同样一个“quite good”，也因为重音在“quite”和“good”上面的轻微不同，分别表示“不好”和“很好”。搞糊涂了吧？我原来英国老板示范过这个“quite good”，他特意强调了重音的变化，我和我的美国同事愣是没有听出分别，可见他平时对我们的褒贬我们常常反着理解。

英国人的性格和日本人其实很像。这两个岛国都是现代社会中少有的君主制国家，汽车都是靠左行驶。日本有它独特的电信系统，英国的电插头是笨重的三个眼。这两个国家的国民都是表面上非常礼貌和客气，但在谦虚的外表下，内心其实非常自傲，而且要发泄起来也不逊于任何人。臭名昭著的足球流氓也是英国的特产，他们往往借机寻事，发泄情绪，可能是因为平时发泄的渠道太少了。

英国等级非常森严的地方，上流社会的人有深深的优越感。英国人有些姓就能看出高贵的出身，说话的口音也能分出平民和贵族。英国上流社会男人会在小指头上带一个戒指，往往是家族流传下来的。别看英国人崇尚法制，但往往刑不上大夫的两面性。如果别人不尊重规定，那就是件大事。但如果只是他们自己破坏规矩，那最多就只是naughty（调皮）而已。

英国那阴雨连绵的天气，培养了人的耐心和自我克制力，英国人习惯在雨中漫步，寄宿学校的学生需要在雨中爬山，英国人甚至还在雨中穿着雨衣野餐。大不列颠国家的人最著名的特点是矜持，如果表现出过度热情是个大忌。他们人与人之间保持距离，看上去甚至有点冷漠，他们也瞧不起那些感情外露的名族。

英国绅士和所有人一样，也对小道消息很感兴趣，但他们又认为传播小道消息是不够档次的，所以狗仔队和小报很有市场。英国文化戒谈钱，认为这是低级趣味和缺乏教养的。英国人还有一个潜规则，就是在自我介绍和问候的场合中要表现得笨拙而尴尬。那些能言善道、信心十足的行为，都属于不当表现。

所有英式谈话的潜在规则，就是避免“过分认真”。英国大奖得演说大多比较短，一定要带点儿自嘲的幽默，还要表现的非常不自在的样子。有一次，被英国朋友表扬一条项链好看，我不自信地咕哝了几句，这只是小店打折买的，才50块钱，结果被称赞说话很英伦。美国人碰到这种场合，常见的做法是大大方方地说声“谢谢”。

老牌日不落帝国殖民地满天下，但他们却有点怕外国人，还发明xenophobia一字来描述陌生恐惧症。虽说伦敦有世界上最国际化的城市的美称，英国也还是相当封闭的。他们内向和排外的习惯让他们对中国知之甚少，中国近年来的快速发展又让他们感到害怕。英国一边积极吸收中国投资，一边又对中国人防一手。英国绅士们的这种性格，决定了他们和中国打交道一定是半推半就，进两步退一步。

英国人说话的弦外之音，你看懂了吗？

英国《经济学人》的小结

What the British mean: 'I disagree and do not want to discuss it any further'

What is understood: accepts my point of view'

What the British say: 'This is in no sense a rebuke'

What the British mean:'I am furious with you and letting you know it'

What is understood:'I am not cross with you'

What the British say:'With the greatest respect'

What the British mean:'I think you are wrong (or a fool)'

What is understood:'He is listening to me'

What the British say:'Correct me if I'm wrong'

What the British mean:'I know I'm right--please don't contradict me'

What is understood:'Tell me what you think'

What the British say:'That's not bad'

What the British mean:'That's good or very good'

What is understood:'That's poor or mediocre'

What the British say:'QUITE good' (with the stress on the 'quite')

What the British mean:'A bit disappointing'

What is understood:'Quite good'

What the British say:'quite GOOD' (with the stress on the 'good ')

What the British mean:'excellent'

What is understood:'Quite good'

What the British say:'Perhaps you would like to think about....'/'I wouldsuggest...' /'It would be nice if...'

What the British mean:'This is an order. Do it or be prepared to justify yourself...'

What is understood:'Think about the idea, but do what you like'

What the British say:'Do as much as you think is justifed'

What the British mean:'Do it all'

What is understood:'Do what you can'

What the British say:'Oh, by the way/Incidentally ...'

What the British mean:'The primary purpose of our discussion is...'

What is understood:'This is not very important ...'

What the British say:'I was a bit disappointed that/It is a pity you...'

What the British mean:'I am most upset and cross'

What is understood:'It doesn't really matter'

What the British say:'Very interesting'

What the British mean:'I don't agree/I don't believe you'

What is understood:'They are impressed'

What the British say:'Could we consider some other options'

What the British mean:'I don't like your idea'

What is understood:'They have not yet decided'

What the British say:'I'll bear it in mind '

What the British mean:'I will do nothing about it'

What is understood:'They will probably do it'

What the British say:'Please think about that some more'

What the British mean:'It's a bad idea: don't do it'

What is understood:'It's a good idea, keep developing it'

What the British say:'I'm sure it's my fault'

What the British mean:'I know it is your fault, please apologise'

What is understood:'It was somebody else's fault'

What the British say:'That is an original point of view'

What the British mean:'You must be mad, or very silly'

What is understood:'They like my ideas!'

What the British say:“I'm sure you'll get there eventually”

What the British mean:“You don't stand a chance in hell”

What is understood: “Keep on trying; they agree I'm on the right track”

经常需要和英国人打交道的朋友们，这些都要烂熟于胸哦。