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So we have to switch back and forth, doing it on a weekly basis seems to work the best. I'll try to make one room my real room and have the other one I like camping out. I can't buy two of everything, so I might as well have one good room that's really mine.
Another aspect of joint custody that's difficult is that my parents have very different rules and philosophies about life. For example, my Dad's attitude is that he lets us learn by our mistakes , and my mother does exactly the opposite-she tells us how to act before we make the mistake. And my Dad says we can watch TV for a while after school , and my Mom says we can’t—that we have to select our programs very carefully.
At my Dad's house Matthew has to do his homework right away, but he gets to stay up until nine and watch The A Team because that's his favourite show. Mom doesn't want him to when we're at her house but she feels she has to give in because Matthew says, 'Well, Daddy lets me do that at his house. ' He's learning to play them against each other at a very early age. I don't do that, but I have to admit there are times when I secretly wish I was at whichever house I'm not at.
It would be nice if there could be a special house for divorced families. It would be like two houses, side by side, with a place in the middle where the kids could live. Then when parents had arguments they could each go to their own place and get away from each other and think things out by themselves. That way, they could realise how dumb they were behaving and get back together again. I know it's too late for that kind of arrangement with my parents-and as I look back I see that they're both.happier being apart. My father's become a different person, you know, and it's unbelievable. I like the person he is now because he doesn't get angry as fast as he used to. And my mother's much happier because she doesn't have to worry about getting Daddy mad. Another good thing that's happened is that my father's turned into a terrific cook, and it makes me feel proud to be one of the only, people in my class whose father cooks and does things like' taking me to hockey practice and to sewing. And it's great to see how my Mom doesn't have to rely on Daddy to pay the bills and throw out the garbage. She's working now and that's helped her feel important. Neither of them has to rely on the other one in dumb ways, the way they used to, and I think they’re both much better off as a result. I know that neither of them will ever be able to forget all the anger, but I think that as time goes on they'll sort of come to their senses and be pretty good friends. That's what I hope for more than anything in the world!
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