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【言谈录】大多数父母其实并不爱他们的孩子——虽然他们嘴上说爱


克氏经典作品《唤醒智慧的教育》(Education and the Significance of Life)近日已由重庆出版社出版,译者周豪。该书是克里希那穆提第一部畅销书,也是一本珍贵的克氏教育专著,出版后在欧美反响巨大。此次新版采用全新中译稿,中英对照,值得珍藏。点击左下角“阅读原文”即可进入亚马逊购书页面。

Moreover, parents and teachers are largely occupied with their own conflicts and sorrows. Rich or poor, most parents are absorbed in their personal worries and trials. They are not gravely concerned about the present social and moral deterioration, but only desire that their children shall be equipped to get on in the world. They are anxious about the future of their children, eager to have them educated to hold secure positions, or to marry well. 

此外,父母和老师的内心充满了自己的冲突和悲伤所征服。不管富有还是贫穷,大多数父母都沉浸在他们个人的忧虑和苦恼中。他们并没有深切关注当今社会的退化和道德的堕落,而只是想让自己的孩子全副武装地上阵,然后在社会上出人头地。他们担忧自己孩子的未来,于是急着让他们接受教育,确保他以后能有个安稳的职位,或者能找个好人家结婚。


Contrary to what is generally believed, most parents do not love their children, though they talk of loving them. If parents really loved their children, there would be no emphasis laid on the family and the nation as opposed to the whole, which creates social and racial divisions between men and brings about war and starvation. It is really extraordinary that, while people are rigorously trained to be lawyers or doctors, they may become parents without undergoing any training whatsoever to fit them for this all important task. 

与人们通常所认为的恰恰相反,大多数父母其实并不爱他们的孩子——虽然他们嘴上说爱。如果父母真的爱自己的孩子,就不会强调与人类整体相对立的家庭和国家——这种强调制造出了人与人之间的社会和种族区分,由此带来了战争与饥饿。令人无比惊奇的是,在人们需要接受严格培训才能成为律师或医生的同时,他们却可以不经过任何培训就成为父母,去担任这项最为重要的任务。


More often than not, the family, with its separate tendencies, encourages the general process of isolation, thereby becoming a deteriorating factor in society. It is only when there is love and understanding that the walls of isolation are broken down, and then the family is no longer a closed circle, it is neither a prison nor a refuge; then the parents are in communion, not only with their children, but also with their neighbours. 

通常来讲,家庭带有隔离排外的倾向,它助长了普遍化的孤立过程,从而变成了导致社会衰退的因素。只有存在爱和了解,孤立隔绝的围墙才会被推倒,那时家庭就不再是一个封闭的圈子,它既不会成为监狱,也不会成为避难所;那时父母不仅能够与自己的孩子交流,也能与他们的邻居交流。


Being absorbed in their own problems, many parents shift to the teacher the responsibility for the well-being of their children; and then it is important that the educator help in the education of the parents as well. 

无数父母沉浸在自己的各种问题中,然后把为孩子谋求幸福的责任转嫁给了老师;所以重要的是,教育者同样也要帮忙去教育父母。


He must talk to them, explaining that the confused state of the world mirrors their own individual confusion. He must point out that scientific progress in itself cannot bring about a radical change in existing values; that technical training, which is now called education, has not given man freedom or made him any happier; and that to condition the student to accept the present environment is not conducive to intelligence. He must tell them what he is attempting to do for their child, and how he is setting about it. He has to awaken the parents’ confidence, not by assuming the authority of a specialist dealing with ignorant laymen, but by talking over with them the child’s temperament, difficulties, aptitudes and so on. 

教育者必须和父母谈话,向他们解释这个世界混乱的局面正是他们自身混乱的反映。他必须向他们指出,科学进步本身是无法带来现有价值的彻底改变的;而培养技术——如今它被称为教育——并没有带给人类自由,或者让人类变得更幸福;制约学生,使他接受现有的环境,这无助于智慧。他必须告诉父母他在试图为他们的孩子所做的事情,以及他是如何着手去做的。他必须唤起父母的信心,不是凭着一种专家对待无知外行的权威姿态,而是通过和他们讨论孩子的性格、困难、天资等等,以这种方式来唤醒他们的信心。


If the teacher takes a real interest in the child as an individual, the parents will have confidence in him. In this process, the teacher is educating the parents as well as himself, while learning from them in return. Right education is a mutual task demanding patience, consideration and affection. Enlightened teachers in an enlightened community could work out this problem of how to bring up children, and experiments along these lines should be made on a small scale by interested teachers and thoughtful parents. 

如果老师能把孩子当成一个个体,对他产生真正的兴趣,父母就会信赖老师。在这个过程中,老师既是在教育父母,也是在教育他自己——而反过来,他也同时在向父母学习。正确的教育是双方共同的任务,它需要耐心、关怀和爱。一个文明社会中的开明的老师,会去研究解决如何培养孩子的问题,一系列由此展开的试验会先由那些有兴趣的老师和关心孩子的父母来小规模地进行。


Education and the Significance of Life, Chapter VI, Parents and Teachers

《唤醒智慧的教育》第六章“父母和老师”




了解关于本书的更多信息,可点击:【新书推荐】克里希那穆提《唤醒智慧的教育》(重庆出版社)



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