BLISS （幸福）
(1)
ALTHOUGH Bertha Young was thirty she still
had moments like this when she wanted to run instead of walk, to take dancing
steps on and off the pavement, to bowl a hoop, to throw something up in the air
and catch it again, or to stand still and laugh at–nothing–at nothing, simply.
What can you do if you are thirty and,
turning the corner of your own street, you are overcome, suddenly by a feeling
of bliss–absolute bliss!–as though you'd suddenly swallowed a bright piece of
that late afternoon sun and it burned in your bosom, sending out a little
shower of sparks into every particle, into every finger and toe? . . .
Oh, is there no way you can express it
without being 'drunk and disorderly' ? How idiotic civilisation is!
Why be given a body if you have to keep it shut up in a case like a rare, rare
fiddle?
'No, that about the fiddle is not
quite what I mean,' she thought, running up the steps and feeling in her
bag for the key–she'd forgotten it, as usual–and rattling the letter-box.
'It's not what I mean, because–Thank you, Mary'–she went into the
hall. 'Is nurse back?'
'Yes, M'm.'
'And has the fruit come?'
'Yes, M'm. Everything's come.'
'Bring the fruit up to the
dining-room, will you? I'll arrange it before I go upstairs.'
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(1)
尽管伯莎.扬已经三十岁了，她还是有这样的时候：想以奔跑代替走路，踩着舞步在人行道上跳上跳下，滚个铁环，往空中抛起个东西再接住，或者一动不动地站着笑起来——可是，根本没有什么可笑的事情。
尽管伯莎.扬已经三十岁了，她还是有这样的时候：想以奔跑代替走路，踩着舞步在人行道上跳上跳下，滚个铁环，往空中抛起个东西再接住，或者一动不动地站着笑起来——可是，根本没有什么可笑的事情。
噢，除了“陶醉和混乱”，难道你就没有其他方式可以表达这种感受吗？文明社会真是愚蠢啊！如果你必须把这种感受像一把极其极其稀有的提琴一样珍藏在琴盒里，为什么还给你一个身体？
“不，那个提琴的比喻还不能确切地表达我的意思。”她想着，跑上台阶，在包里摸钥匙——她忘了带了，就像往常一样——于是咔哒咔哒碰响信箱叫开门。“我并不想这样，因为——谢谢你，玛丽”——她走进门厅。“保姆回来了吗？”
“是的，太太。”
“送来啦，太太。每件东西都送到了。”
“把水果都放到饭厅去，好吗？我上楼之前会把水果摆好的。”
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(2)
It was dusky in the dining-room and quite chilly. But all the same Bertha threw off her coat; she could not bear the tight clasp of it another moment, and the cold air fell on her arms.
But in her bosom there was still that bright glowing place—that shower of little sparks coming from it. It was almost unbearable. She hardly dared to breathe for fear of fanning it higher, and yet she breathed deeply, deeply. She hardly dared to look into the cold mirror—but she did look, and it gave her back a woman, radiant, with smiling, trembling lips, with big, dark eyes and an air of listening, waiting for something. .. divine to happen. .. that she knew must happen. .. infallibly.
Mary brought in the fruit on a tray and with it a glass bowl, and a blue dish, very lovely, with a strange sheen on it as though it had been dipped in milk.
“Shall I turn on the light, M’m?”
“No, thank you. I can see quite well.”
There were tangerines and apples stained with strawberry pink. Some yellow pears, smooth as silk, some white grapes covered with a silver bloom and a big cluster of purple ones. These last she had bought to tone in with the new dining-room carpet. Yes, that did sound rather far-fetched and absurd, but it was really why she had bought them. She had thought in the shop: “I must have some purple ones to bring the carpet up to the table.” And it had seemed quite sense at the time.
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(2)
饭厅里昏暗且特别寒冷。尽管如此，伯莎还是脱下大衣；那件大衣把身体裹得太紧，她再也受不了了，不想再多穿一会儿；可脱了大衣，她的胳膊顿时感到一阵寒气。
然而她胸中依然有个地方明亮灼热——那阵小火花就从那儿迸发出来。这简直让人难以忍受。她几乎不敢呼吸了，害怕那样会把火扇得更旺，不过还是深深地、深深地吸着气。她几乎不敢照那面冰冷的镜子——但还是照了，镜子里映照出一个容光焕发的女人，微笑着，嘴唇颤动，眼睛又大又黑，那神情似在倾听，等待着什么……神圣的事情发生……她知道那一定会发生的……绝对没错。
玛丽用托盘把水果送过来，还拿来一个玻璃碗，一个非常可爱的蓝色盘子，呈现出一种奇妙的光辉，好像那盘子在牛奶里浸泡过一样。
“我打开灯好吗，太太？”
“不用，谢谢你。我能看清。”
摆放的水果有橘子，带草莓粉色的苹果，几个黄色的梨，光滑如丝，还有一些覆着一层银白果霜的白葡萄和一大串紫葡萄。这些紫葡萄是她为了与饭厅的新地毯颜色协调才刚刚买的。没错，这听起来有点牵强荒谬，但她确实是因为这个才买的。她在商店时想：“我必须买点紫色的东西，使地毯的颜色与桌上的颜色相配。”而且当时似乎觉得很有道理。
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(3)
When she had finished with them and had made two pyramids of these bright round shapes, she stood away from the table to get the effect–and it really was most curious. For the dark table seemed to melt into the dusky light and the glass dish and the blue bowl to float in the air. This, of course, in her present mood, was so incredibly beautiful. . . . She began to laugh.
'No, no. I'm getting hysterical.' And she seized her bag and coat and ran upstairs to the nursery.
Nurse sat at a low table giving Little B her supper after her bath. The baby had on a white flannel gown and a blue woollen jacket, and her dark, fine hair was brushed up into a funny little peak. She looked up when she saw her mother and began to jump.
'Now, my lovey, eat it up like a good girl,' said nurse, setting her lips in a way that Bertha knew, and that meant she had come into the nursery at another wrong moment.
'Has she been good, Nanny?'
'She's been a little sweet all the afternoon,' whispered Nanny. 'We went to the park and I sat down on a chair and took her out of the pram and a big dog came along and put its head on my knee and she clutched its ear, tugged it. Oh, you should have seen her.'
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(3)
她把这些颜色鲜亮、形状圆润的水果摆成两个圆锥形，摆放完毕，站在离桌子远些的地方，看看效果——真是精致极了。因为深色的桌子似乎融进了暗淡的光线里，玻璃盘子和蓝色的碗仿佛浮在空中。这些，当然，以她眼下的心情看，真是美得令人难以置信……她开始笑起来。
“不，不行。我太兴奋了。”她抓起包和大衣，跑到楼上的婴儿室。
保姆给小贝洗完澡，她正坐在一张矮桌旁，喂小贝吃晚饭。婴儿穿一件白色法兰绒睡袍和一件蓝色羊毛短上衣，纤细的黑头发往上梳起，形成一个逗人发笑的小尖锥。她抬头看见妈妈，开始跳跃起来。
“来，宝贝，吃完这点，做个乖女孩。”保姆说。伯莎看到保姆撅嘴的样子，明白这意味着她来婴儿室来得又不是时候。
“她今天乖吗，阿姨？”
“今天下午她一直都挺讨人喜欢。”保姆小声说。“我们到公园去了，我坐在椅子上，然后我从婴儿车里把她抱出来。一条大狗凑过来，把头靠在我的膝盖上，她就抓住狗耳朵，使劲拽。哎，您要能看到她那样子该多好。”
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(4)
Bertha wanted to ask if it wasn't rather dangerous to let her clutch at a strange dog's ear. But she did not dare to. She stood watching them, her hands by her side, like the poor little girl in front of the rich girl with the doll.
The baby looked up at her again, stared, and then smiled so charmingly that Bertha couldn't help crying:
'Oh, Nanny, do let me finish giving her her supper while you put the bath things away.
'Well, M'm, she oughtn't to be changed hands while she's eating,' said Nanny, still whispering. 'It unsettles her; it's very likely to upset her.'
How absurd it was. Why have a baby if it has to be kept–not in a case like a rare, rare fiddle–but in another woman's arms?
'Oh, I must!' said she.
Very offended, Nanny handed her over.
'Now, don't excite her after her supper. You know you do, M'm. And I have such a time with her after!'
Thank heaven! Nanny went out of the room with the bath towels.
'Now I've got you to myself, my little precious,' said Bertha, as the baby leaned against her.
She ate delightfully, holding up her lips for the spoon and then waving her hands. Sometimes she wouldn't let the spoon go; and sometimes, just as Bertha had filled it, she waved it away to the four winds.
When the soup was finished Bertha turned round to the fire. 'You're nice–you're very nice!' said she, kissing her warm baby. 'I'm fond of you. I like you.'
And indeed, she loved Little B so much–her neck as she bent forward, her exquisite toes as they shone transparent in the firelight–that all her feeling of bliss came back again, and again she didn't know how to express it–what to do with it.
'You're wanted on the telephone,' said Nanny, coming back in triumph and seizing her Little B.
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(4)
伯莎想问问，让孩子抓一条陌生的狗的耳朵是否有点危险。不过，她没敢问。她两手垂立，看着她们，像个贫穷的小姑娘站在抱着洋娃娃的富家小姐跟前。
婴儿又抬起头看她，目不转睛地看着，然后笑了，笑得非常快活，伯莎禁不住大声说：
“噢，阿姨，让我来给她喂饭，你把洗澡的东西收拾好。”
“哎，太太，她吃饭的时候我们不该换人。”保姆还是那样小声说，“这样会打扰她，她可能会心烦意乱的。”
这多可笑啊。如果非得把孩子放在——不是说像个稀有珍贵的提琴一样放在琴盒里——而是放在另一个女人的怀里，为什么还生个孩子呢？
“噢，我一定要喂！”她说。
保姆心里很生气，不情愿地把婴儿交给了她。
“那好，吃完饭后别逗她。您知道您爱那样做，太太。事后我可就麻烦了！”
谢天谢地！保姆拿着浴巾走出了房间。
“现在我可把你要回来了，我的小宝贝。”伯莎说，婴儿倚靠着她。
婴儿高兴地吃着，鼓起嘴唇去接勺子，接着挥动两只小手。她时而抓着勺子不放，时而挥手把伯莎刚舀满的勺子推开，食物撒得四处都是。
婴儿喝完汤，伯莎转身面对火炉。“乖乖——你真乖！”她一边说，一边亲亲兴高采烈的婴儿。“妈妈喜欢你。妈妈爱你。”
的确，她太爱小贝了——小家伙俯身向前露出脖子，纤巧的脚趾在炉火的映照下晶莹透亮——那种极端的幸福感又回到她身上，她还是不知道如何表达这种感受——不知拿它怎么办。
“您的电话。”保姆得意而归，说着把小贝抱了过来。
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(5)
Down she flew. It was Harry.
'Oh, is that you, Ber? Look here. I'll be late. I'll take a taxi and come along as quickly as I can, but get dinner put back ten minutes–will you? All right?'
'Yes, perfectly. Oh, Harry!'
'Yes?'
What had she to say? She'd nothing to say. She only wanted to get in touch with him for a moment. She couldn't absurdly cry: 'Hasn't it been a divine day!'
'What is it?' rapped out the little voice.
'Nothing. Entendu,' said Bertha, and hung up the receiver, thinking how much more than idiotic civilisation was.
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(5)
她飞奔而下。是哈里的电话。
“噢，是你吗，伯莎？听我说。我会晚点到家。我会打的尽快回来，但是，推迟十分钟准备饭——好吗？说好啦？”
“好，完全可以。噢，哈里！”
“就这样啦？”
她想说什么？没话可说。她只想和他多交流一会儿。她总不能滑稽地大喊：“多么美妙的一天啊！”
“怎么回事？”电话里突然传来微弱的声音。
“没事。一言为定。”伯莎说完挂上话筒，琢磨着，还有什么比文明社会更加荒诞的呢。
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