我们在处理人际关系的时候，往往太过苛刻，下面是Dale Carnegie在他书中所写的一个小故事，从中或许能得到一些启示。
我们班的一位同学讲述了他妻子提出的一个要求。她与所在教会中的一群妇女参加了一项自我改善计划。她让丈夫帮她列出六件事，她可以去做以帮助她成为一个更好的妻子。这位同学向全班报告说:“我对这样的要求感到惊讶。坦白地说，我很容易就能列出六件我想改变她的事情，天哪！她却能够列出上千件她想改变我的事情，但我却没有。我对她说:“让我想一想，明天早上再给你答复。
第二天早上，我起了个大早，打电话给花店，让他们送了六朵红玫瑰给我妻子，还附言道:“我想不出有六件事我想改变你，我爱你现在的样子。”
那天晚上我到家时，你想是谁在门口迎接我的? 我的妻子! 她几乎要哭了。不用说，我非常高兴我没有按她的要求批评她。
下个星期天，在教堂里，当她报告了她所分配的作业结果后，几个和她一起学习的女人走过来对我说: 这是我听过的最体贴的事情。“就在那时，我意识到欣赏的力量。”
A member of one of our classes told of a request made by his wife. She and a group of other women in her church were involved in a self-improvement programme. She asked her husband to help her by listing six things he believed she could do to help her become a better wife. He reported to the class: ‘I was surprised by such a request. Frankly, it would have been easy for me to list six things I would like to change about her – my heavens, she could have listed a thousand things she would like to change about me – but I didn’t. I said to her, “Let me think about it and give you an answer in the morning.”
‘The next morning I got up very early and called the florist and had them send six red roses to my wife with a note saying: ‘I can’t think of six things I would like to change about you. I love you the way you are.’
‘When I arrived at home that evening, who do you think greeted me at the door: That’s right. My wife! She was almost in tears. Needless to say, I was extremely glad I had not criticized her as she had requested.
‘The following Sunday at church, after she had reported the results of her assignment, several women with whom she had been studying came up to me and said, “That was the most considerate thing I have ever heard.” It was then I realized the power of appreciation.’
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