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GRE issue拿满分的小诀窍

  俗话说,知己知彼,百战不殆。在备考GRE-AW(分析性写作)这一单项,很关键的一步就是分析意图、抓住采分点。

  今天我们借由一篇AW满分范文,详细到字里行间,逐句分析作者的写作意图,做到从作者的角度抓住“采分点”,有效指导我们自己的写作实践。

  很多同学在阅读满分范文的时候,容易进入一个机械的“误区”,直接“拿来主义”,把人家现成的思路,例证,闪光句型“盗窃”过来,这是万万不行的,尤其对于GRE作文来说,因为这会猜到“雷区”---思路语言“雷同”,没分!!! 所以我建议同学们在借鉴的时候,是学习一些方法,“钓鱼方法”,也就是我们常常说的:“授之以鱼,不如授之以渔”,请看下面作文例题分析:

  Both the development of technological tools and the uses to which humanity has put them have created modern civilizations in which loneliness is ever increasing.

  开头段:

  Technology,broadly defined as the use of tools,has a long history.Ever since Erg the caveman first conked an animal with a rock, people have been using technology.For thousands of years, the use of tools allowed people to move ever closer together.Because fields could be cultivated and the technology to store food existed, people would live in cities rather than in small nomadic tribes.Only very lately have Erg's descendants come to question the benefits of technology.The Industrial Revolution introduced and spread technologies that mechanized many tasks.As a result of the drive toward more efficient production and distribution (so the ever larger cities would be supported), people began to act as cogs in the technological machine.Clothing was no longer produced by groups of women sewing and gossiping together, but by down-trodden automation's operating machinery in grim factories.

  逻辑分析:

  key word:technology下定义,随后分别从科技的历史、功用意义等角度进行扩展进行泛化说明。Only very lately这句话把关注点过渡到质疑科技的benefits。随后举例说明。

  特点: 非典型开头模式。说理和细化例证展开相结合,生动,传递的信息很丰富。

  主体段:

  The benefits of the new technology of today,computers and the internet,are particularly ambiguous.They have made work ever more efficient and knit the world together in a web of information and phone lines. Some visionaries speak of a world in which Erg need not check in to his office; he can just dial in from home.He won't need to go to a bar to pick up women because there are all those chat rooms.Hungry?Erg orders his groceries from an online delivery service. Bored?Download a new game. And yet...

  逻辑分析:

  ambiguous可以看出作者的态度。随后欲抑先扬,先让步列举计算机给人类带来的方便,最后一个转折yet…省略句,预示下文要进行反驳

  主体段2:

  Many people,myself included,are a little queasy about that vision. Erg may be doing work,but is it real work?Are his online friends real friends?Does anything count in a spiritual way if it's just digital?Since the Industrial Revolution,we have been haunted by the prospect that we are turning into our machines:efficient,productive,soulless.The newest technologies,we fear,are making us flat as our screens,turning us into streams of bits of interchangeable data.We may know a lot of people,but we have few real friends.We have a lot of things to do,but no reason to do them. In short,the new technology emphasizes a spiritual crisis that has been building for quite some time.

  逻辑分析:

  持否定态度。随后通过排比式的设问,引人思考,随后表明作者的否定态度,认为计算机领域科技进步使得人们失去灵魂,乏味。。。展开细化证明,最后有一个关键性的小结。

  主体段3:

  As I try to unravel which I believe about the relative merits of technology,I think it is instructive to remember technology's original result. A better plow meant easier farming,more food,longer lives,and more free time to pursue other things such as art.Our newest technology does not give us more free time;it consumes our free time.We are terminally distracted from confronting ourselves or each other.We stay safe,and lonely,in our homes and offices rather than taking the risk of meeting real people or trying new things.

  逻辑分析:

  上文提出问题所在, 本段给予解决问题的方案建议 ;

  展开部分,采取“反证法”的方式,细化举例说明今天的科技和original result背道而驰,产生消极结果。

  结尾段:

  While I am certainly not a Luddite,I do believe we need to look for a bit more balance between technology and life.We have to tear ourselves away from the fatal distractions and go out into the world.Technology has given us long lives and endless supplies of information.Now we need to apply that information,use the time we're not spending conking our dinner with a club,and find our reasons for living.

  最后结尾,明确作者立场,提出解决问题的方案建议,升华主题。

  因此,同学们不仅要看词句,还要学思路,学布局,这才是真正关键的地方。

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