When it comes to the art of conveying our discontent, we Chinese are learning. I mean, who can blame us, we only discovered a permissible level of dissatisfaction a few decades ago. We had no idea our lives weren't perfect and now there's so much discontent we need to get out of our system. In the old days we referred to our good old Confucian values to dispel any trouble: respect and listen to your elders no matter what. To 抱怨 (bàoyuàn, complain) was an alien concept in the workplace, too. As a small cog in the grand machine that is the glorious socialist motherland, one was proud to be put to any task so long as he or she was needed.
Everything has changed in this new age—with, proverbially, the squeaky wheel getting the grease rather than the nail that sticks out getting hammered down. But, we are still novices in the subtle art of complaints and how to deal with them. Surely, we are well versed in the technique of praise—to raise an individual to the state of immortal is a piece of cake to us. We can criticize, too—condemning our enemies with all kinds of grand gestures and flowery language. It is that middle ground, constructive criticism, that's so hard to grasp. Be it the passive-aggressive grandstanding of Chinese newspapers or every online comment section in the whole of the world, so much of our planet is geared toward an economy of complaining.
The barrage of complaints one has to deal with effectively starts early in life—very early, childhood even. Chinese parents have become known for their harsh criticism of their children; thus, kicking and wailing, we are born into a whinging world. Perhaps you've heard of the Asian grading system, where "A" stands for "adequate". That is the logic of many Chinese parents: you will never be good enough. To convey this point loud and clear, they lean on a semi-fictional figure with whom you will be compared in every aspect of your life: "the other family's kid". At school, your parents will say:
Look at Xiao Li next door, so self-disciplined at studying!
Nǐ kàn gébì de xiǎo lǐ, xuéxí duō zìjué a!
你看隔壁的小李,学习多自觉?.?
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