前言
这是一篇很神奇的文章，
因为你看着看着就会发现，
把文中的写作方法反过来用，
就正好是一堂“精彩”的
中国式“英语写作课了... ...
大家先试试手，看看自己到底有没有陷入“Chinglish — 中式英语”的陷进！
下面的选项里，只有一句是准确地道的表达，其它四个全部都是中式英语的表达；
你能找出唯一准确的那一个么？
A. We must make an improvement in our work.
B. Their speech is very boring and meaningless.
C. 'The prolongation of the existence of this temple is due to the solidity of its construction.”
D. 'With wide streets and a small population, the city is filled with gas stations and karaoke bars.'
E. 'He has been surrounded by enemies for days. Nevertheless he decided to go.'
（答案在文章末尾）
正文
最近看到一本很好的写作指导书：（这是英文版的)
（在本公众号后台回复“中式英语”四个字，
便可得到本书的PDF版本）
这本书吸引人的地方有两点：
它十分系统的探讨了“Chinglish — 中式英语” 这一现象，是我至今为止看到的关于中式英语的最完整的归纳总结，（如果大家有读过比这本更详尽的书，请留言告诉大家，不胜感激！）这对于中国人的英文写作非常有指导性，老师可以用，学生也可以用，值得珍藏；
整理自精通中文的native speaker，权威，很有参考价值；与其它关于“中式英语”的书不同，这本书并不是出自中国人之手，而是地道的美国人—— John Pinkham主笔的；并且经过中央编译局中央文献翻译室英文处处长—— 姜桂华共同审核参考，使得本书的内容更为严谨；
John Pinkham
美国人，毕生从事翻译工作。她曾先后在外文出版社和中央编译工作过8年，专门给中国翻译工作者翻译的英译文作修改和润色。8年中她积累了大量的典型中式英语实例，她根据这些例子把中式英语的具体表现科学地加以分门别类。
这本书将“中式英语”分为两大类：
Unnecessary Words
Sentence Structure
我分别从两大类中找出我们最容易犯，却没有察觉的Chinglish的错误，浓缩成?? 下文，带大家把这本书的精华部分过一遍！
Part 1: Uncecessary Words
其实受“应试教育”的影响，很多英语学习者为了凑字数，为了高分，经常堆砌一些所谓的“华丽辞藻”，其实这在纯正的English language里面是非常不专业的。
作者在这本书正文的最开始，就郑重声明了英语表达最重要的原则之一：
Concise! ( 简明扼要）
' All authorities on the style of English prose agree that good writing is concise. Careful writers say what they means in as few words as possible.'
（ 所有与英语文学相关的权威机构都肯定这个原则：好文章就该简明扼要。真正严肃认真的作者定能用最少的字，最准确的表达自己的想法）
所以，作者认为：'Any words which performs no useful functions in the sentence — that is, which add nothing to the meaning — should be edited out!' 简言之，所有对句意没有贡献的多余词汇都应该省略！
其实我们常用的很多词，特别是在教写作时常推荐给学生的词，都是中式英语中“unnecessary words”的体现；
例句 1
We must make an improvement in our work.
作为一个native speaker, 作者是这么评价这句话的：
'Here the verb 'make' is a weak, colorless, all-purpose word having no very specific meaning of its own, while the real action is expressed in the noun 'improvement'. Since the verb is not contributing anything to the sense, it can be edited out: ”
（这句话中的“make”是一个虚的，表意苍白的通用词汇，自己本身并没有什么特殊的意义，而这句话中真正的动作其实是在名词“improvement”中表达出来的。既然“make”对于句意的表达并没有什么贡献，它其实是可以被省略掉的；）
大家知道?? 这句话最纯正简洁的版本应该是怎样的么？
作者的答案是：
“We must improve our work.”
其实这种 “make ＋ 名词” 结构的词组在中国人的英语写作中屡见不鲜，经常被用到；作者举了很多例子：
make an investigation of
make a careful study of
make a decision to
make a proposal that
make efforts to
make an analysis of
...
大家按照 “Concise” 的原则再对上面的词组仔细思考一下，其实他们是不是都可以只用一个动词替代，就能将意思表述清楚了？
make an investigation of = investigate
make a careful study of = study carefully
make a decision to = decide to
make a proposal that = propose that
make efforts to = try / attempt to
make an analysis of = analyze
除了“make”加名词这一类redundant (多余) 的常用词，还有其它的“名词 ＋ 动词”也犯了同类的错误：
bring about a change = change
give an approval = approve
find the solution = solve
have trust in = trust
have respect for = respect
provide assistance to = assist
achieve success in = succeed in
play stress on = stress
accomplish the transformation = transform
implement the reform = reform
...
当时我看到这一章节的时候，感觉特别汗颜，更觉得蛮对不起学生的；因为我以前在教写作的时候，竟然告诉学生把动词变成名词词组，不仅字数更多，还能使文章看起来更加高大上一点... ...
原来自己竟是不知不觉的教出了native speakers眼中标准的“Chinglish”... ...
例句 2
Their speech is very boring and meaningless.
大家看出这句话中最多余的是哪个字了么？其实是——very！In fact, “Very has been called as one of the most useless words in the English language.” （very是这个世界上最没用的词了）
当你说：he is very tired!
而natives会说：he is exhausted!
对比之下，很明显可以感受到后者的用语更为powerful和native！所以'very'这个词，只不过是在口语中常出现而已，也只是词汇少的人的宠儿；
作者还提出，不仅是“very”，还有很多其它的“intensifiers'——表示程度的副词，在英语中是很多余的；作者举了个很经典的例子：“great historic victory”；在中文里，我们会很自然的说：伟大的历史胜利！但是其实在英语中，“historic”本来就暗含“十分伟大”的意味，已经是一个很strong的词了，所以完全不需要再用 “great”来修饰；
作者还在书中举了其它intensifiers用在句中很多余的情况，如：extremely, absolutely, strong, definitely, firmly, surely, thoroughly, strongly, totally, completely, persistently, actually, truly, really, tremendously, resolutely, assuredly, certainly, genuinely, quite, rather, fully, consistently, wholly, drastically, constantly, fairly, earnestly, 等等；
看着这些词是不是觉得很熟悉？
这不就是我们和学生说的“凑字数宝典”的另一招嘛——加修饰词！
看来，我们的写作课已经在“Chinglish”的道路上越走越远了... ...
补充一句，并不是说这些词都不能用，既然英语中有这个词，那必然是有其用处的；但是在严谨，地道的英语表达中，我们更应该考虑选词的精准性，考虑上下文的语境，而不应该形而上的滥用；
其实，有很多词可以将very ( rather, quite ...)加名词的这种修饰替换掉的词，以更清楚，地道的表达说话者的本意的；下面是一个来自grammarcheck网的总结，大家可以参考一下：
所以上面??这个例句，可以直接表达为：
Their speech is dull and meaningless.
Part 2: Sentence Structure
这一部分的内容比第一部分的要难很多，因为这一部分旨在：
to make an English sentence clear and logical！
让英语表达更有“逻辑”，是我们在课堂上很少涉及，甚至忽略掉的一项能力，以至于我们教的很多英语表达在native speakers看来都陷入了“逻辑不清”的误区；
例句 3
'The prolongation of the existence of this temple is due to the solidity of its construction.'
可能大多数中国老师看到这句话之后的内心OS是这样的：哎呀，这娃儿的词汇量够大呀！肯定是个勤奋努力，刻苦学习，爱记单词的好学生！Impressive!
但是native speaker怎么看呢？作者的观点是这样的：
'This version contains four abstract nouns. Not only do the nouns make the statement nearly twice as long, but they also make it pretentious, wooden, and hard to understand.'
（这句话有四个抽象的名词。这些名词不仅让句子的表达长了两倍，也让句子变得很做作，呆板且很难让人理解）
对于这些“华丽”又很长的词，在我们眼里可能是“高大上”的，但是在native speakers看来，就是一个感觉：abstract（抽象）！不止是本书的作者反感这种表达，其它很多权威的国外学者对这样的现象都持非常反对的意见：
'Unnecessary abstraction is one of the worst faults of mordern writing — the string of nouns held together by prepositions and relying on the passive voice to convey the enfeebled sense.'
— Jacques Barzun
（不必要的抽象词是现代写作中最严重的错误之一——那一串串被介词和被动连起来的抽象名词所传达的意义是多么的苍白无力）
其实刚才举的这个chinglish的例子：
'The prolongation of the existance of this temple is due to the solidity of its construction.'
在作者看来，去掉浮华的辞藻，直接这样?? 表达是最符合English language原则的：
'This temple has endured because it was solidly built.'
看着这个concise的版本，这时读者才能恍然大悟，原来这句话是在说“这个寺庙久立不倒是因为它建得很牢固！”
例句 4
'With wide streets and a small population, the city is filled with gas stations and karaoke bars.'
其实这句话最Chinglish的地方在“with”的使用上；
我们常教学生要学会用“with”，要多用“with”；任何一种在形式上能让English writing显得更为高端的结构我们都大为赞赏；而且因为“with”能表达很多意思，所以这种看似万金油的词，我们总把它视若珍宝，感觉一篇作文里面不来几个with结构的句子，都对不起自己的写作水平；
但是在作者看来，“with”这个词是不差，但是其实很容易“滥用”而导致意思模糊的：
'With' is so often used as a logical connective — and so often in a vague or confusing manner — that it is worth considering alongside the conjunctions, adverbs and adverbials phrases that usually serve to tie ideas together. ”
（with这个词常被用作逻辑连接词——常以一种模糊，令人费解的形式出现——这和连词，副词以及状语在承接句意的表达上都需要我们三思而后用）
也就是说，with作为一个“有意义”的逻辑连接词，不该随意滥用，要不然在native speakers看来就会在句意上产生歧义，或者表意就会模糊；
就比如??上面给出的这句例子：
'With wide streets and a small population, the city is filled with gas stations and karaoke bars.'
这句里的“with”甚至都不是表意模糊的错误，with所连接的这两部分甚至都没有任何的逻辑关系。为什么一个街道宽，人口稀少的城市，就该有很多加油站和KTV呢？所以这句话的with，只不过是把一些和主句的city相关的信息，强行的附在了一个句子里罢了；
为了增强句子的逻辑性，作者建议这句话应该这样改：
'The city, which has wide streets and a small population, is filled with gas stations and karaoke gas.'
答案在下面??
当然，中国老师教的写作技巧里，也有非常可取的方法的！就比如下面这个例子：
例句 5
'He has been surrouded by enemies for days. Nevertheless he decided to go.'
这里面用的非常巧妙的就是这个转折词：nevertheless. 我们会常教学生学会使用不同的”逻辑词”，承接句子；因为像这样简简单单的一个词“nevertheless”，就可以表达出这一长句的意思：“Despite the fact that all these dangers had been pointed out to him, he decided to go.'
作者对于therefore, however, consequently, nevertheless等的副词是赞赏有加的；她在书中这样写道：
'Unlike conjunctions, such adverbs as 'therefore,' 'however,' 'consequently,' 'nevertheless,' 'besides,'and so on contribute nothing to the grammatical structure. But like conjunctions, they contribute a great deal to its meaning. They show how the thought or action expressed in a given sentence is related to the thought or action in the preceding one.'
（不像连词那样，像“therefore，”... ... 等等这些副词在句子的语法结构上并不起什么作用。但是它们有一点是和连词一样的，就是这些副词对句意的贡献是很大的；它们清楚的显示了该句的想法和行动与上一句的内在联系）
总而言之，和连词一样，这些副词在链接上下文的逻辑上是非常重要的；作者把这些词统称为：logical connectives；作者还将这些词分门别类的整理了一番，这对于我们的English writing是很有指导性的：
- addition or amplification: and, moreover, in addition
- contrast or opposition: but, on the contrary, instead
- cause or effect: because, thus, hence
- similarity: likewise, similarly, in the same way
- purpose: in order that, to this end, for this purpose
- time sequence: after, then, meanwhile
- logical sequence: in the first place, next, finally
- illustration: for instance, as an example, specifically
- concession: granted, to be sure, of course
- intensification: indeed, in fact, surely
- restatement: that is, in other words, as has been said
- conlusion: to sum up, in short, in conclusion
但是作者也补充说道，虽然这些副词是很有用的，却也不要“滥用”，过之而不及，用多了，这些词的意义反而就弱了；
总结
本文从《中式英语之鉴》一书中，选取了了四个Chinglish的例子：
1. We must make an improvement in our work.
修改版：“We must improve our work.”
2. Their speech is very boring and meaningless.
修改版：Their speech is dull and meaningless.
3. 'The prolongation of the existence of this temple is due to the solidity of its construction.'
修改版：'This temple has endured because it was solidly built.'
4. 'With wide streets and a small population, the city is filled with gas stations and karaoke bars.'
修改版：'The city, which has wide streets and a small population, is filled with gas stations and karaoke gas.'
当然，还有一种值得继续推崇的表达方式：
'He has been surrouded by enemies for days. Nevertheless he decided to go.'
反思
其实《中式英语之鉴》这本看下来，最大的感觉就是我们在写作的时候，不要太注重“形式”，一定要把“meaning”放在最重要的位置。'English is a language'这句话虽是简单，却实则十分寓意深刻的；作为老师，或者是English learners, 我们一定要看出这句话的深意：
English is a language,
So it is not a way of showing off knowledge；
it is not a way of improving scores；
it is not a way of pleasing a certain group of people;
it is just a language,
and a language should be used to communicate ideas!
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