俗话说得好，每个女孩儿一生中总会遇到几个渣男才会成长，不过貌似，不仅女生们有这种感慨，男生们的内心OS也同样强烈……
前段时间， 渣男最爱干的那些事还上了热搜：
不过貌似歪果仁们也有同感呢~最近BUZZFEED上的一篇帖子就火了：
Buzzfeed：糟糕的恋情都有哪些危险信号？来看看网友们咋说的
马上学：red flag 即我们常说的“危险信号”，例如：The fallen trees along the road raised a red flag for the safety inspectors. （对于安全巡查员而言，沿路倒下的树木是一个危险信号。）大家都知道toxic 是有毒的，而如果说a toxic relationship则表示这段感情 “令人不愉快”。
问题PO出不到俩小时，就收到了150多条回复，网友们用自己惨痛的亲身经历告诉大家：恋爱中遇到哪些人要挥刀斩情丝——因为TA是真的渣啊！
到底歪果仁网友们说了啥？什么才是歪果仁眼中的“渣”行为？一起来看看Buzzfeed小编的部分筛选吧～
如果一个男人跟你说，他的前任都是极品，赶紧撤… 因为他是那个公分母。
'When a guy says that all his exes are crazy, run... because he is the common denominator.' —Ley.
你做了自己的计划安排没事先问他，他会让你觉得这是你的错。
'When he makes you feel guilty about making your own plans without asking him first.' — Andre.
他总是不停的说你喜欢的人的坏话——尤其是你好朋友的。
'When he never stops pointing out the mistakes of people you like, especially your friends.' —C.
情感勒索：他会嫉妒你对朋友和家人的爱，并指责你不够爱他。
'Emotional blackmail: when he is jealous of your friends or family and accuses you for not loving him.' —Lyna.
注意他谈论前女友们的方式，如果缺乏对她们的尊重或者嘲笑她们的外表，那很明显他是个渣男无疑了。
'I always pay attention to the way he talks about his ex-partners. If he is disrespectful, or if he trashes their appearance, it is a clear sign that I am dealing with a jerk.' —Jen.
任何有你家人或朋友在的活动，他都不想参加。如果你一个人去参加了，他还会莫名发脾气：他不想你留他一个人，还阻止你和那些你珍惜的人在一起。
'If he does not want to participate in anything that involves your family or friends ... or when you go on your own because he does not want to come along, he throws a tantrum for some absurd reason: all he wants is to prevent you from leaving him alone and to keep you away from people that you value.' —larubiadelquinto.
当对方和你说没有他你什么都不是的时候……
'The moment your partner tells you that you would be nothing without him.' — Abril.
不懂得换位思考，不替他人考虑：自己不付出却让人为他做这做那。
'Lack of reciprocity: when he demands things from you that he does not do himself.' — Olalla.
总是想控制你，对你恶语相向，还美其名曰这样都是因为爱你……
'When he controls or viciously criticizes you, but excuses his behavior by saying 'I am only telling you this because I love you.'' —Casiopea.
跟你要密码的时候……
'When he asks for your passwords.' —Paula.
花时间证明我的恐惧和缺乏安全感，并让我为自己的这些感到难过。然后还不能和他倾诉这些事情，因为他会生气。
'The moment he takes the time to demonstrate that I have fears and insecurities and starts to make me feel bad about them. And when I begin to feel that I can't talk to him about those things because he will get pissed.' —Aren.
对方第一次告诉你应该做什么不应该做什么的时候……
'The first time your partner tells you what you should or shouldn't do.' —Laura.
当一个女人因为下面这些理由不再做以前喜欢做的事情时（如跟朋友聚会等）：他想让我陪他，他朋友来不了了，他一个人孤零零的，我不忍心，他为了我都不出去了，所以我也不出去了，不，不是因为他，是我自己不想去的……在我看来，这种关系是不会幸福的。如果他不让你去做你喜欢做的事，而让你做他喜欢做的事，那我只能说，他可能并没有那么爱你。
'When the woman stops doing what she used to do (like spending time with her friends) because he 'wants me to stay with him', 'his friends can't come today, he is all alone, and I am sorry for him', 'he stopped partying to be with me, so I'm not going out...', and also, 'no, it is not because of him; I just don't want to do it'. YEAH, SURE. In my opinion, this is toxic. If he is asking you to stop doing what you like to do and to do what he likes to do, he is the one who does not love you that much.' —18amigapreocupada.
说什么爱就是要牺牲，强迫你改变自己的性格，行为，穿着，社交……与此同时，他却丝毫不care你的感受。
'When he forces you to change yourself (having to change your personality, behavior, clothes, social relationships...) by guilting you about how love is about making sacrifices, while he doesn't worry one bit about how that makes you feel.' —Claudia.
因为你没火速回复他的消息而变得不耐烦的时候……
'Being impatient when you don't respond to his messages quickly enough.' —GabyC.
吵架的时候，贬低你为这段感情的付出，说什么“我比你付出的多，我为这段感情倾尽所有而你啥也没做”之类的。
'One red flag can be when, during an argument, you partner downplays your commitment to the relationship by dropping phrases like 'I have worked much harder than you on this' or 'I have done everything to make it work, and you have done virtually nothing.'' —Karina.
吵架的时候摔东西……
'If he breaks things when we argue.' —Azul.
那些说“不相信男女间有纯粹友谊”的人。
'People who say, 'I don't believe that a woman and a man can just be friends'.' — Berta.
无论发生什么事儿，他永远都是那个受害者。
'When, no matter what happens, he has to be the victim.' —Moon.
因为他不喜欢，就要离间你和你喜欢的人的感情……
'When he tries to drive a wedge between you and your loved ones because 'he is not very fond of them.'' —Arim.
总是轻视你，不把你的生活方式当一回事，贬低你的学习，工作，兴趣爱好的时候……
'When he does not take you seriously, and he does not take your lifestyle seriously, and when he belittles your studies, your work, your hobbies...' —Carmen.
总结一下：当你在感情中迷失自我，开始为他改变自己的习惯、朋友、品味等等的时候。小心了，事情开始不太对劲了！
'To summarize: when you stop being yourself in a relationship, and you start to change your habits, friends, tastes, etc. for him... BE CAREFUL! Something is not right.' —A. Maria.
他总是不停倾诉自己的感觉，却对你说的完全没兴趣。
'When he keeps talking about himself but is never interested in anything I tell him.' —Aria.
如果他说他生命中的所有女人都很坏，她们都伤害他，抛弃他，让他痛苦，唯独你与众不同的时候，当心了！如果别人都离开他，难道不应该是他的问题么？
'When he makes every woman in his life play the villain — every one of them hurt him, abandoned him, or made him miserable... but he tells you that you are different, and you make him feel special. If they all dumped him, wouldn't it mean that he was the problem?' —Paula.
控制欲太强的时候，甚至管你在社交媒体上关注谁、赞了什么……
'When they control everything, including who you friend on social media and even what you like.' —Paula.
如果他对你感兴趣不是因为你的个性、品味或者爱好，而是因为你对他的付出或你对他的取悦。
'When his interest in you is really about him. He is more interested in what you do for him and the pleasure that you give him than in your personality, your tastes, or your interests.' —Raquel.
如果他说“你和其他女孩儿不同”，然后开始贬损其他女性的时候。
'When he says, 'You are not like other girls,' and follows it up with a derogatory comment about other women.' —Angie.
缺少尊重，比如当着你的面看别的女人，就好像在市场选菜一样（不尊重女性）。对你指手画脚，比如说“你金发比较好看”，“你这么胖穿短裙合适吗”。就好像你的个人意见根本不重要一样。
'Lack of respect, like checking out other women in front of you... as if it were some cattle market. Or making comments about things that become you and those that don't, for example, 'You would look better as a blonde,' or 'You are not skinny enough to wear such a short skirt'. As if your own opinion were not enough.' — Bb.
在你的朋友面前羞辱你，哪怕只是开玩笑。
'When your partner starts to humiliate you in front of your friends, even if they do it 'as a joke.'' —I.
注意他对身边女性的态度。比如，他说他妈很烦，因为总是让他打扫；说某个女生很酷，因为她穿着低胸裙；或者说他的前任是极品等等。这样的渣男还是赶快远离吧！
'Pay attention to his opinions of the women closest to him. For example, if he thinks that his mother is annoying because she makes him clean, that a female friend is cool because she wears a low-cut dress, or that his ex is crazy, RUN!' —Cris.
自己啥啥都不会，包括用洗衣机，从网上下载音乐等等。最后，你会发现自己仿佛多了个儿子，承担着所有的压力和责任。
'Inability to do anything by himself. From running the washer to downloading a song from the internet. Finally, you end up in a mother-child relationship, in which you carry all the weight and take all responsibility.' —Cristina.
如果他让你为自己的过去感到羞愧（比如他会说，你过去怎么交了那么多男朋友）。或者你找他商量怎么解决问题，但他懒得沟通，还觉得这个问题都是你的错。当你把自己的生活和工作放在他之前，他会说：“你不爱我”。
'When he makes you feel bad about things from your past (like, for example, having dated what he believes to be TOO MANY guys). Or when you try to talk to him about solving a problem, and he avoids communicating but then proceeds to make you feel like the problem is your fault. Or when he engages in emotional blackmail with 'you don't love me' when you put your life and your projects before him.' —UnaHermanaMas.
当他们拿你的出身、肤色、出生地、口音等开玩笑的时候。
'When they make 'jokes' about your origin, skin color, the place you were born, or your accent.' —V.
太自我。这样的人通常很自私，结果就是你需要付出很多，但收获很少。
'Being egotistical. This makes them behave selfishly with you, so you are going to end up giving a lot and receiving very little.' —Alba.
当我跟他说自己真的很忙，要做很多事，他不仅不体谅，还要增加我的负担的时候。
'When I tell him how busy I am or how little time I have to do things and, instead of giving me space, he demands more of it.' —Paola.
当你因为一些很正常的事情而觉得自责的时候。
'When you start feeling guilty about something totally normal.' —Gor.
上一段有毒的恋情让我印象颇深的一点：如果我不赞同他，或者我做了他不认同的事（比如跟朋友出去，看个戏剧之类的），或者夸赞了某个男性友人，他会连续好几个小时不跟我讲话，生好几天闷气，也不说到底为了什么。
'In my case, having come out of a very toxic relationship, this is what I remember quite clearly: he would not talk to me for hours when I disagreed with him about something or when I did something he did not want me to do (like going out with my friends, participate in a theater play...), or when I praised a male friend or acquaintance. He would sulk for days, only to remind me of that at the slightest opportunity.' —Falcon.
公共场合冲你大呼小叫甚至谩骂的时候……
'When he yells or curses at you in public.' —Bianca.
如果一个男人还不清楚自己究竟想要什么，想找怎么样的女生，却把你当女朋友来对待，而当你想去问清楚时，他又言语模糊。与此同时，他又对你说：你很特别……
'When the man is not clear about what he wants or what he looks for but at the same time he treats you like a girlfriend. Then he is vague when you try to get to know him but at the same time he tells you that you are special.' —Carli.
当他啥啥都依赖你的时候……
'When he depends on you for everything.' —C
他不想花时间和你的朋友相处，你却总要花时间和他的朋友们相处的时候。
'When he does not want to spend time with your friends, but you always spend time with his friends.' —Reix.
对我来说有两个明显的信号：第一个较难识别，就是会伪装成玩笑的形式羞辱你。第二，情感绑架。这是感情走向终结的开始。
'For me, there are two very clear signs. First, and, in my opinion, more difficult to notice, is attempts to humiliate you that masquerade as innocent jokes. And second, emotional blackmail. This is the beginning of the end.' —Isa.
我觉得有很多明显的危险信号，其中最危险的是那些不经意的。例如：他不认为你的工作、职业或兴趣爱好很重要，不支持你的职业抉择，以爱的名义控制你等等。
I think there are very obvious red flags, but the most dangerous ones are those that pass unnoticed. For example, when he does not think that your work, your career, or your interests are important; when he does not support you in decisions about career opportunities, and when he anchors you to a circle of control, which is supposed to be his 'love', but in which he is always the protagonist.' —Belén.
英文来源：Buzzfeed
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