【第二天】
策略指导：长句有风险，使用需谨慎。
高级句型：如何表达重要性
热点作文：光盘行动，减少浪费
◎策略指导
昨天，对部分学生的英语作文进行了面批。有几个好学生感叹“怀才不遇”，自己的作文总是得不到高分，为此忿忿不平。
为赋新词强说愁，是好学生写作文时最容易犯的通病。这些学生喜欢卖弄一些高级词汇和复杂结构，误以为高级词汇和复杂结构越多，作文就会显得越有档次。于是在写作文时，就一门心思地堆砌辞藻，刻意制造复杂句，把简单的问题复杂化，结果弄巧成拙，不是造成行文晦涩难懂，就是有故意炫耀之嫌，给阅卷老师留下班门弄斧的坏印象。在追求高级词汇和复杂结构的过程中，存在的主要问题有：
1．吃不透高级词汇的用法。
中文大意
“光盘运动”倡导人们用餐时吃光盘中的所有食物，不要浪费。
不当表达
The campaignadvocates peopleto eat up the food when having meals
简单表达
The campaigncalls on people to eatup the food when...
The campaignpublicly asks people toeat up the food when...
高级表达
The campaignappeals to people to eatup the food when...
The campaignadvocates that peopleshould eat up the food when….
Advocate是高级词汇，但是它后接名词、动名词或从句，很少后接动词不定式的复合结构。当表示提倡某人做某事时，我们可以使用以下结构：call onsomeone to do…或appealto someone to do…，在考试中，我们宁缺毋滥，宁愿舍弃高级表达，也要确保正确，减少犯错误的几率.
2．表达高级，但词不达意。
中文大意
令人高兴的是，浪费现象正在变得越来越少。
不当表达
What isrewarding is that waste is terribly reduced.
简单表达
We’re glad tofind that the less food is being wasted at the table.
高级表达
People’sawareness has been greatly raised to stop food from beingwasted.
写作的主要目的是为了表达意思，在于沟通，而不是唬人，没有必要“为了复杂而复杂”，我们要根据表达内容和实际行文的需要，恰当使用英语词汇和结构，准确无误地表达出我们的所思所想。在上面表格中的三种表达中，“不当表达”不知所云，已经背离了中文意思，变成了：有回报的事情是垃圾废物被大大减少。
3．句子越长，越容易失控。
中文大意
针对随意浪费食物的现状，发起了光盘运用，提醒人们珍惜粮食。
不当表达
Facedwith the situationthat many Chinese people waste food at random, the campaign is launchedto raise people’s awareness of treasuring food.
简单表达
Much food isbeing wasted in China. In order to improve the situation, thegovernment has launched the campaign to raise ...
复杂表达
Facedwith the situationthat many Chinese people waste food, the government has launchedthe campaign to raise people’s …
长句有风险，使用需谨慎。句子越长，结构越复杂，表达就越容易失控。中学生驾驭长句的能力有限，如果达不到一定的火候，就容易犯错误。在上面的“不当表达”中，facedwith与句子的主语没有逻辑主谓关系。我的个人建议是，没有金刚钻别揽瓷器活，如果没有十足驾驭长句的把握，倒不如把长句拆分几个短句，也可以去收到异曲同工之妙。
◎高级句型
在作文中，我们经常要描述事物的特征，其中，重要性就是一个主要的方面。现在，我们就来总结一下，看一看到底有多少高级结构来表达事物的重要性。
简单表达
高级表达
Education isimportant.
Education isof muchimportance.
The work hedoes is important.
The work hedoes is absolutely vital.
A good dietis important for us.
A good dietis essential foreveryone.
Education isimportant to our future.
Educationis critical to ourfuture.
Money is theonly thing that’s important to him.
Money is theonly thing that mattersto him.
Firstimpressions are very important.
Firstimpressions really docount.
Parents areimportant in children’s learning
Parentsplay an important rolein children’s learning.
Children’seducation is very important for Chinese parents.
Chineseparents attach muchimportance to children’s education.
◎热点话题
【2013南京高三二模】
为了减少舌尖上的浪费，许多城市发起了“光盘行动”，倡导人们在日常生活中要注意节约粮食，就餐时，要吃光盘中的饭菜‘你的笔友Lily想了解一些关于“光盘行动”的情况，请阅读右面信件，根据要求写一封回信。
DearDavid,
A campaign called Clearing Your Plate is reportedto be very popular throughout many big cities inChina．Itsounds very interesting. Could you please tell me what ClearingYour Plate exactly means？Why dopeople launch the campaign？And howis it going in your city？Besides，I'dlike to know your opinion about it.
Looking forward to your reply.
Best wishes.
Yourstruly,
Lily
[学生习作]
DearLily,
Very glad to hear from you. As for the campaign call Clearing YourPlate, it advocates that peopleshould eat up all the food in their dishes when having meals,aimed atbuilding an environmentally-friendlysociety.
The campaign islaunched for several reasons. Firstly, while eating out inrestaurants, we tend to order more food than theyactually need, which leads to much waste and has aroused much concern.Secondly, withthe saved food, we can help those starving people wholive in poor areas. Besides, saving food is a traditional Chinesevirtue we should never forget.
In our city, people come to realize the importance ofsaving food. In restaurants, people order the food based on their needs andtake away the leftovers. In the school canteens, less food isthrown away in the food waste collector. Local government officialsstop having meals in expensive restaurants for no goodreason.
Personally, I’m strongly in favor of the campaign. Weshould save not onlyfood but also other valuable resources like water andelectricity.
