Ex-tract! Remove ex-everythings from your space.
和前任说拜拜!从你的世界移除有关前任的一切。
Move forward by not actually being able to go backward: Hide your ex on chat, delete his phone number, defriend him on Facebook and unfollow his Twitter. And we're not just talking
about ex-boyfriends—this includes ex-hookups, ex-booty calls and any o
ther Bad News Dudes.
向前看,真的不能再回头了:在聊天工具上把前任拉黑,删除他的手机号码,在Facebook上与他解除好友,不再关注他的Twitter。我们这里说的前任不仅仅是前男友,还包括以前和你暧昧的人,以前跟你发生过关系的人,以及其他所有会给你带来不良影响的家伙。
Rethink your type—especially if you keep dating the same kind of guy.
反思你喜欢的男人类型——尤其是如果你一直跟同一类型的男人约会的话。
"Write down all the traits of the type of person you have
liked, are attracted to or have dated, and whittle it down to 10 qualities," says Whitney Casey, author of The Man Plan. When picking guys in the new year, you can keep three of those 10 qualities—for the other seven, go for different types of traits. "Any time you're on a date and you notice that there are more than three common traits from your list, you don't give it another date. Stop right there."
“写下你喜欢过、被吸引过以及约会过的男人的所有特质,把它们精简为十条品质,”The Man Plan的作者惠特尼·凯西说。在新的一年挑选男友的时候,你可以保留那十条品质中的三条,对于另外七条,选择不同类型的特质。“如果约会的时候,注意到从你的清单上可以找到超过三条的共同特性时,那么不要再跟这个人约会了,就此打住吧。”
Start a brand-new online dating profile...or finally sign up for one.
建一个全新的网上约会档案……或者干脆注册一个
Rewrite your online dating profile from scratch; working with a blank page will get you thinking about what you really want. Then keep it updated, often—Casey, also Match.com's relationships expert, says to keep it active, like your Facebook profile. "You change your résumé for every job—so you should be changing your online profile picture to show you on a recent ski trip, or talk about the newest movie you've seen. You need to be putting things out there that
people will respond to, not just 'Looking for someone with great eyes.'"
重新写你的网上约会资料,从头开始会让你思考你真正想要的。然后定时更新,经常更新。凯西也是Match.com的婚恋专家,她说要将资料经常更新,就像你的Facebook资料一样。“每换一次工作你就改写一下你的简历,因此你应当随时改改你的网上资料照片,告诉别人你最近参加了一次滑雪旅行,或者谈论你看过的最新上映的
电影。你需要在网上放些东西让他人对此做些反应,而不只是‘睁大眼睛找个人’。”
Put "our _____" in a whole new context.
把“我们的_____”投入一个全新的环境中。
Give places and things you associate with past relationships a new meaning. Have a girls' night at the restaurant that reminds you of an ex, hold an impromptu dance party to "our song" or curl up with a date to that movie you thought you could never watch again.
将让你联想到以前恋情的地点和事物都赋予新的含义。在让你回忆起前任的餐厅,举行一场女生聚会,举办一场即兴舞会来唱“我们的歌”,或者把你约会过的某个人遗忘在那场你永远不会再看的电影中。
Learn to be happy on your own.
学会自己获取幸福。
Before you start rolling your eyes and saying, "Cheesy!" just listen to what Michelle, 27, of San Diego, says: "You're much less likely to settle for someone who isn't amazing if you know how to have fun without a guy. The very day I told my friend I was not interested in relationships and 'I just want to have fun with my friends' was the day I met my boyfriend."
在你开始转动眼珠说“庸俗!”之前,听一听圣地亚哥27岁的米歇尔是如何说的吧:“如果你知道在单身的时候如何玩的开心,那么你就更不可能满足于某个不怎么让你感到惊奇的人了。就在我告诉
朋友我对恋爱不怎么感兴趣,只想跟他们一起玩的那天,我遇到了我的男朋友。”
Not good at seeing who's good for you? Then stop trying...
眼光不好?那就停止尝试吧……
...and let a friend do it for you. Casey says pick a close friend and put her in charge of finding guys—any other guy you meet automatically goes in the friend zone. "You'll only go on dates with someone she sets you up with," Casey says. Not only does this help you date better men, you'll also end up acting more genuinely around other guys you meet when the should-I-date-him pressure's off.
……让一位朋友帮你做这件事。凯西说,选择一位密友,让她负责给你找对象——你见的任何男人都自动过一遍这位朋友的法眼。“你只跟她为你安排的人约会,” 凯西说。这不仅会帮助你与更好的男人约会,并且因为甩掉了“我是否应该跟他约会”的压力,你最终会在遇见其他男人时更自然地表现自己。
Feel shiny 'n' new.
闪亮清新的全新自己。
Change something—anything! Wear glasses? Try contacts. Addicted to your flatiron? Go au naturel. Never worn orange? Hello, tangerine dress! Whatever you do—no matter how big or small—should make you feel renewed and different and boost your confidence.
做一些改变,任何事都可以!还戴眼镜?试试隐形眼镜吧。总是依赖于你的熨斗?试试自然的状态吧。从不穿橘色?橘色裙子也不错!无论你做什么,不管是多大或者多小的事情,都应该让你有全新、与众不同的感觉,增加你的信心。
Reroute your routine.
重新安排你的日常工作。
Instead of sticking to all your usual haunts, go out of your way to try a new bar, new café or new club. Been there, done that? Bookmark sites like Metromix and Thrillist for local event listings, and get googling to find hyper-local blogs with more opportunities you'd never thought of to meet people.
不要总是去那些你平日里常去的地方,走出来试试新的酒吧、咖啡馆或者俱乐部吧。还在那里做之前那些事吗?当然不是!标记像Metromix和Thrillist那样的地址,可以获知当地的事件,谷歌一下本地以外的一些博客,上面会有更多机会让你结识新的朋友。
Work on yourself.
专注于自己。
Bring your "me" time back to the top of your priority list. Set personal goals (separate from your New Year's resolutions!) and stick to 'em. Whether you're focusing on toning your abs or taking new risks with your hairstyles, as 27-year-old New Yorker Sara says, "There is nothing more gratifying than running into him later and having him say, 'Wow, you look great.'"
将“你自己”的
时间放回到你的优先名单的最前面。设定自己的目标(与你的新年目标分开),坚持去做。不论你是专心锻炼腹肌还是冒险尝试新发型,正如纽约27岁的萨拉所说,“没有什么比后来偶然遇到他,听他说‘哇,你看起来棒极了’ 更令人可喜的了。”
Remember: You broke up for a reason.
记住:你们分手是有原因的。
If you find yourself ruminating on the past, focus on the crappy stuff. "Any time I started slipping into 'oh-I-miss-him-I'm-so-sad' mode, I'd remind myself of everything that annoyed me about him—sometimes I even wrote down a list," says Jessica, 25, from Atlanta.
如果你发现自己反复思考过去,那么就把精力放在一些糟糕的事情上。“每当我开始陷入‘哦我想他我好难过’ 的情绪中,我就会提醒自己所有让我讨厌他的事情,有时我甚至把它写成一个清单,”来自亚特兰大25岁的杰西卡说。