父母往往会有意无意地通过行为控制和心理控制,对孩子加以管控。
1、要求盲从和从众
2、不让孩子参与决、或质疑父母的决定
3、不要让孩子自己做决定
4、不鼓励选择或独立
5、决定孩子生活的方方面面
6、在孩子没有要求的时候,“帮助”孩子
7、使用诸如“因为我就是这么说的”之类的言词来管教
8、坚信大人说话的时候,小孩别插嘴
9、操纵和利用亲子关系,例如,内疚诱导或撤回自己的关爱
10、通过惩罚和胁迫进行纪律处分
11、使用消极的、充满情感的表达和批评,例如失望和羞耻
12、对孩子做出的所有选择进行批评
13、不切实际的高标准和期望
14、许多死板的规则
15、任意添加规则,控制更多
16、对孩子缺乏同理心
17、拒绝从孩子的角度看事情
18、相信自己永远是对的
19、总是告诉孩子该怎么做
20、不尊重孩子的隐私
◎ 尽量减少、避免使用心理控制;
◎ 不要把父母间的矛盾、冲突波及孩子身上;
◎ 给予孩子一定的自主空间,不要用亲情绑架孩子;
◎ 积极参与到孩子的生活中,对孩子的行为进行适度的监管。
参考文献
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