The Excuse Never Heard
A fellow bought a new Benz and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him.
"Theres no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. His needle hit 90, 100, 110 and finally 150. Then the reality of the situation hit him.
"What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car.
Finally he came to the window looking steadily at the driver and said, "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your speeding that I haven't heard before, you can go!"
The driver blinked only once while his brain scrambled for a reply.
"Last week my wife ran off with a cop," he said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back !"
"Off you go," said the officer.
Golden Sayings:
A good tale is none the worse for being twice told.
好故事，百听不厌
A good tongue is a good weapon.
巧舌如刀剑，枪杆子不如笔杆子
A wise man will make tools of what comes to hand.
智者善用其器，把手里的做成工具；智者善假于物
Deliver not your words by number but by weight.
言不在多，而在于精，有理
Great talkers are commonly liars.
能言者多谎
He is wise that hath(have第三人称)wit enough for his own affairs.
智者善治其身
Liars should have good memories.
说谎者得有好记性
The devil can cite the scriptures for his purpose.
魔鬼为己狡辩也会引经据典
You can fool some of the people all the time, and all of the people some of the time; but you can't fool all of the people all the time.
你可以一直愚弄一些人，也可以在某些时候愚弄所有的人;但你不能一直愚弄所有的人。
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