In so many ways, this commencement season has been an unforgettable one for our family, especially as we cheered from the stands watching two of our children graduate, full of anticipation for what’s next for them.
As a parent, these are the kind of moments that make your heart so full you wonder if it’s going to burst. But they were far from the only ones that moved me this graduation season. The commencement speeches I heard this year were some of the most beautiful, stirring talks that I can remember—and that’s coming from someone who’s listened to a lot of them. Now that June is winding down, I wanted to make sure I shared a few of my favorites.
One of the standout speeches I heard this year came from the surgeon and writer Atul Gawande, who spoke to medical students about the growing sense of division in our world. “Much of society has become like an airplane boarding line, with different rights and privileges for zones one to ninety-seven,” Atul said. “And many of those in line think—though no one likes to admit it—that they deserve what they have more than the others behind them.”
Like a good doctor, Atul came prepared with a vaccine for that way of thinking: stay curious. You’re going to meet plenty of people in life who are difficult, or who you disagree with—but never let that be a reason to stop listening. Our curiosity is what teaches us how people became who they are and believe what they believe. It’s the seed for understanding and empathy. And it’s absolutely essential to rebuilding trust in our society.
The soccer star and Olympic gold medalist Abby Wambach delivered an incredible speech about leadership this spring—and I’m still thinking about one of the anecdotes she shared. When Abby was a teenager, she got to play a five-on-five match alongside her childhood hero Michelle Akers, who was already a seasoned pro. Michelle spent nearly the entire game being a coach to the young women around her—but in the last quarter, she realized that her team was down three goals. That’s when Michelle ran back to the keeper, demanded the ball, and took it down the entire field, weaving past every opposing player until she scored. Then she did it again, and again, and again, until her team won.
There’s an old stereotype about women leaders that says we’re either kind, generous, and ineffective—or cold, selfish, and successful. Abby’s story is a reminder of just how wrong that is. As leaders, we can play to win and still support those around us. And we can claim what’s ours while empowering others to do the same. As Abby put it so beautifully: “Joy, success, power—these are not pies where a bigger slice for her means a smaller slice for you. These are infinite. In any revolution, the way to make something true starts with believing it is. Let’s claim infinite joy, success, and power—together.”
'Joy, success, power—these are not pies where a bigger slice for her means a smaller slice for you. These are infinite. In any revolution, the way to make something true starts with believing it is. Let’s claim infinite joy, success, and power—together.' —Abby Wambach
When the Emmy Award–winning actor Sterling K. Brown delivered his address at Stanford last weekend, he could have done what a lot of speakers do: dole out advice and speak from a place of total authority. Instead, he chose to do the exact opposite. He started his speech by sharing all the doubts he’d had going into it. He talked about the voice in his head that said he wasn’t up to the task. He joked that he “must have started this speech about fifty-eleven times!”—and even then, he still didn’t think it was good enough.
Sterling’s delivery got big laughs. But he was speaking directly to the fear, self-doubt, and perfectionism that keeps so many of us from sharing our gifts with the world—and he had the perfect response to it. “As a human being,” Sterling said, “it is my goal in life to become the best version of myself, which is ultimately, I believe, divine. If all of my life is comfortable and convenient, I rob myself of the opportunity to grow, to stretch, to expand.
“When I feel fear, as uncomfortable as it may be, I know I’m in the right place,” he went on. “Whether you’re 22, or 42, never allow fear to keep you from expanding your definition of self.”
“When I feel fear, as uncomfortable as it may be, I know I’m in the right place. Whether you’re 22, or 42, never allow fear to keep you from expanding your definition of self.” —Sterling K. Brown
This spring, I also found myself thinking a lot about students like Christian Bales, Katherine Frantz, and Lulabel Seitz. All three were supposed to speak at their high school commencements, but Lulabel’s mic got cut when she started to talk about sexual assault on her campus—and Christian and Katherine were barred from speaking at all.
That could have been the end of the story, but these students refused to be silenced. Christian grabbed a bullhorn and spoke outside after his graduation ceremony. Katherine published her speech in a newspaper. Lulabel delivered hers on YouTube.
These young people took risks because they wanted to call attention to the problems they saw in the world and inspire their communities to help solve them. Going forward, I hope they’ll continue to speak out as loudly as they can.
And I hope graduates everywhere will do the same as they begin the next phase of their lives. Change happens when people raise their voices for what’s right—and if members of the Class of 2018 use theirs to push for progress, there’s no limit to what they can accomplish.
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