什么是性骚扰？未经同意的亲密身体接触，当然是。但如果是男性称赞女同事的头发好看呢？或者反过来，女性称赞男同事的头发呢？这还只是停留在简单的性别二元论上，如果男上司摸摸男下属的头，或者女上司碰碰女下属的脸，这算是性骚扰么？
夸你美也算是性骚扰么？
作者：Susanna Schrobsdorff
译者：李林治
校对：徐 唱
词汇：尹子梦
策划：朱雨晴
When men see other men behaving badly
当他们看到其他男人行为不端时
本文选自 TIME | 取经号原创翻译
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A lot of men are asking themselves if they have ever done something that a woman somewhere is tweeting about with the #MeToo hashtag in response to the question, Have you ever been harassed or assaulted? It all began with the horrific accusations against producer Harvey Weinstein over the past month. Since then, the ugliness has swamped our consciousness. It seems to be everywhere, like rot in the walls. Women are walking around feeling less alone, yet they are scared and sickened by the magnitude of the problem. How will we move forward?
你是否遭遇过性侵或者性骚扰？推特上，女性转发 #我也是受害者# 来回答这个问题。很多男人反省，自己是否做过任何让她们觉得不适的事。事情的起因还要从上月对制作人哈维·韦恩斯坦的可怕指控说起。自那时起，骚扰女性的丑恶罪行直击我们的良心。这样的事好像无处不在，就像墙中滋生的腐烂一样。女性感觉不像从前那么孤单，但这次事件的影响之大，仍然让她们感到害怕、恶心。那我们该如何趋步向前？
swamp [swɑmp] v. ~ sb/sth (with sth) overwhelm sb/sth with a great quantity of things （以繁多的事物）压倒某人/某事物
The hope is that this catharsis will prompt men and institutions to acknowledge and change their behavior when it comes to the harassment of anyone. I’m sure that some men recognize their own behavior in those tweets. Maybe they’re ashamed of their actions or their complicity. Maybe they have learned something about what women go through. Of course, there are those deeply narcissistic, powerful men like Weinstein who can’t imagine that a woman doesn’t want them. Or they don’t care because they’ve gotten used to a life where no one says no without swift and cruel retaliation. (Hell hath no fury like a rejected bully.)
希望这次在推特上的情感宣泄，能让男性和相关机构在面对性骚扰问题时，意识到自己某些行为的不妥并加以改变。我敢确定一些男人在这些推特中看到了自己的影子。也许，他们对自己的行为或者身为同谋感到羞愧。也许，他们也从中了解到女性经历了什么。当然，也存在像韦恩斯坦这样有权有势、无比自恋的男人，他们无法想象竟有女人不想和他们发生关系。又或者，他们根本不在乎，他们已经习惯了因为惧怕残忍报复而对他们百依百顺的人。（没有什么能比遭到拒绝更让他们生气的了。）
catharsis [kəˈθɑrsɪs] n. release of strong feelings through the effect of art, esp drama （通过艺术作用, 尤指戏剧）强烈情感的发抒
narcissistic [ˌnɑrsɪˈsɪstɪk] adj. the habit of admiring yourself too much, especially your appearance 自我陶醉，自赏，自恋（尤指对自己的容貌）
retaliation [ rɪˌtælɪˈeʃən] n. ~ (against sb/sth) (for sth) action that a person takes against sb who has harmed them in some way 报复
Hell hath no fury like a rejected bully. 这句话改编自Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned，意思是“没有什么能比感情遭到拒绝更让女人生气的了”。
But a lot of men really aren’t sure if they’ve crossed a line. Male friends tell me they’ve been sifting through memories, thinking, I’m no monster like Weinstein, but what about that time I complimented a woman on her hair—was that creepy?
不过，很多人真的不确定他们的行为是否不妥。我的男性朋友告诉我，他们仔细回忆，他们不会像韦恩斯坦那样为所欲为，但如果只是夸她的头发好看，这会让人觉得猥琐么？
To answer that question, women are posting lists of things men shouldn’t do or say. They advise men to think of women as . . . people. Or that if men are distracted by a woman’s womanness, they should just think of her as the Rock, as Anne Victoria Clark wrote. Another list, “57 Things I Need You to Stop Doing to the Women You Work With,” includes not commenting on a woman’s appearance, ever, and not grabbing her butt.
为了解答这个问题，女人列了一张单子，上面写着男人不该做的事、不该说的话。她们建议男人把他们当成……人来看。或者，如果男人因为一个女人的女人味而意乱情迷的话，安娜·维多利亚·克拉克建议，他们就应该把她想象成巨石强森。另一张单子—“我需要你停止对女同事做的57件事”—包括了不要评论一个女人的长相、不要摸她的屁股等等。
But here’s the problem: we are lumping sexual assault in with “I like your jacket.” Part of being treated like a person at work is being treated as a friend, perhaps for a lifetime. And friends talk about their lives outside of work, their kids or their cancer treatment, because we are human first. There’s no fixed line between friendship and creepy. And what about the many people who date, marry and break up with colleagues? Then the line between icky and romantic gets really blurry. Think of John Cusack’s character standing outside his ex’s bedroom with a boom box in the movie Say Anything. Read one way, it’s the start of a marriage; in another way, he’s a stalker. We’ve been raised on romances in which the guy “just wouldn’t give up until she said yes,” that she would go out with him or marry him.
但问题是，赞美别人的夹克算是性骚扰么？在工作场合，将同事当作“人”来看，往往也意味着，把对方当作朋友，也许是一辈子的朋友。工作之余，朋友聊生活、孩子、癌症治疗，因为我们首先是人类。友谊和猥琐之间没有固定的分界线。那些和同事约会、结婚、再分手的人怎么办？油腻和浪漫之间的分界线变得模糊。想想电影《情到深处》中的约翰·库萨克的角色，拿着手提录音机站在前任的家门外（题图）。要么，这是婚姻的开始；要么，他就是跟踪狂。我们从小到大受到关于浪漫的教育就是男人“决不放弃直到她答应”，然后她会开始和他约会或者嫁给他。
lump [lʌmp] v. ~ sb/sth (together) put or consider people or things together; treat people or things as alike or under the same heading 将人或物归并一起或合并考虑; 将人或物同等对待或分类
icky [ˈɪki] adj. unpleasant (used especially about sth that is wet and sticky) 黏糊糊（令人不舒服）的
Clearly, we have a lot of cultural baggage. So as helpful as a list of don’ts might be, it’s not enough. I think men need to hear it from women directly. Is it possible for men to ask women if they’ve done something to make them uncomfortable or scared? And if they did, would we answer no when we meant yes so as not to offend? I’m not sure. But maybe more honesty is something we can salvage from this awful swamp. It’d be a start anyway.
很明显，我们背上有很多文化包袱。所以尽管“勿做清单”可能有帮助，但依旧不够。我认为男人需要直接听女人说。对男性来说，是否有可能问女性，他们是不是做了让她们不舒服或害怕的事？如果他们真的问了，那我们会不会为了避免冒犯他们而不说明自己的真实想法？我不确定。但如果这次的可怕事件可以唤醒更多人心中的诚实，也算是个好的开始。
baggage [ˈbæɡɪdʒ] n. the beliefs and attitudes that sb has as a result of their past experiences （因阅历而形成的）信仰，看法
salvage [ˈsælvɪdʒ] v. to manage to rescue sth from a difficult situation; to stop a bad situation from being a complete failure 挽救；挽回
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