Being a good parent will physiologically destroy you, new research confirms
新的研究证实，做一名好家长会让你从生理上受到伤害
Kids with empathetic parents have well-documented advantages: less depression, less aggression, more empathy themselves. Parents also report better self-esteem when they make the effort to understand their children’s feelings.
有着善解人意的家长的孩子都具有特别明显的优点：很少忧郁，很少的侵略性，也更具有共情能力。那些花更多精力去了解自己孩子的心情的家长们也更具有自尊。
But inside, it’s tearing them up.
但是从内部看，却是令他们支离破碎的。
A team from Northwestern University has examined the hidden costs of parental empathy. They found that while the children of empathetic parents are better off physically and emotionally, the parents’ cells reveal chronic, low-grade inflammation. When their children suffer psychologically, empathetic parents’ immune systems take a hit.
来自西北大学的一个调研小组，对于那些具有同情心的家长的隐形付出做出研究。他们发现，当他们的孩子有着很好的生理和心理状态时，作为家长，他们的细胞会有慢性的、低度的炎症。当他们的孩子心理上遭受痛苦时，这些善解人意的家长的免疫系统也会受到打击。
Researchers surveyed 247 pairs of parents and their adolescent children on how often and to what degree parents could understand their children’s feelings and respond with appropriate concern. They also took blood samples. Empathetic parents and their children were both better off psychologically. Children of empathetic parents also showed lower levels of inflammatory markers. Their parents were just the opposite. Their samples revealed this low-grade systemic inflammation.
研究人员共观察了247对父母和他们的处于青春期的孩子，对于孩子的情绪，家长们多久、以及如何投入的给予相应的关注做出研究。他们还取了血样。善解人意的家长和孩子在心理上都表现很好，孩子们炎症程度不明显，但他们的父母则相反，样本显示他们有低度系统炎症。
That study, published online late last year and appearing next month in the journal Health Psychology, follows research published last year in the journal Clinical Psychological Science. There, the Northwestern team surveyed 143 pairs of parents and teenage children on parents’ empathy and children’s depression. A year later, they took blood samples from the parents and introduced a bacterial component to study the immune response.
这项研究，去年在网上发表，将在下个月的健康心理学杂志上发表，紧接着去年在临床心理科学杂志上发表的研究而进行的。这里，西北大学小组就父母感受和孩子的焦虑这一课题，观察了143对父母和他们的十几岁的孩子。一年后，再取父母的血样并引入一种细菌成分来研究他们的免疫反应。
As their children’s depressive symptoms increased, so did empathetic parents’ inflammatory markers. The findings were consistent with previous research showing that caregivers of people with chronic illness develop chronic inflammation and elevated stress hormones over time.
当孩子们的焦虑症状加剧时，有共情的家长们的炎症也上升。这个结果和之前的研究是一致的，它们都显示出照顾人的人会随着时间的推移，而导致慢性炎症和抑郁的激素的升高。
Why is this? Empathy requires us to push our own feelings aside to focus on someone else’s, an effort linked to increased stress and higher inflammation. Empathetic parents may also be more willing to sacrifice their own health for their children’s sake, forgoing things like sleep, exercise, and other activities that could mitigate the stress of caregiving.
为什么会这样？同情心要求我们在关注他人时，把自己的感情放在一边，这样就会让他们的焦虑和炎症都大大升高。这些有同情心的父母更愿意为了他们的孩子而牺牲自己的健康、放弃睡眠、锻炼身体，以及其他可以缓和自身焦虑的活动。
Family therapy often counsels parents on how to be more empathetic, given the enormous benefit to children. But if that emotional effort comes at a physical cost, parents need to be taught how to care for themselves too, said Erika M. Manczak, a Northwestern psychology graduate student and the lead author of both studies.
家庭治疗通常都建议父母们如何更加的善解人意，更多的为孩子着想。但如果这个感情投入是以身体的投入做代价的话，父母们则更应该被教会如何关爱自己。这是Erika M. Manczak，西北大学心理学研究生及这两篇论文的主要作者给出的建议。
“Things like getting enough sleep, exercising, and reducing stress are all related to these types of immune processes,” Manczak told Quartz. “It’s not selfish for parents to make time for those things—it’s actually critical for their own mental and physical health.”
“像有足够的睡眠，锻炼身体和减少焦虑等，都是和免疫系统相关联的，”Manczak告诉Quartz。“父母们找时间做这些事并不是自私 – 而是对于自己的心理和生理健康都相当重要的。”
重点单词汇总
destroy ：破坏、摧毁、消灭
empathetic ：感情投入，共情
feeling：感情、情绪、心情
inflammation：炎症，发炎
sacrifice ：牺牲
selfish ：自私的，利己的
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