Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show. So, last night, Donald Trump hosted a swearing-in ceremony for Amy Coney Barrett, Supreme Court justice and mom who blocks Nickelodeon for too much adult content. And somebody were excited to see her ceremony, while others were furious about it. But one thing everyone was thinking was, what the hell was Trump talking about? We are fulfilling the duty that passes to each new generation to sustain the national traditions, and virtues that make possible, everything we have achieved before that, we will do tomorrow. You know, Trump is the only person who make English sound like a foreign language. It actually sounds like someone translated Trump’s speech into Farsi, translated it back into English, and then gave him a concussion. This speech reminds me of the essays I would write in high school when I was trying to reach a word count. “And then those who submitted would be also within their range to find dreams and memories.” All right, done. Seriously, I don’t know if you could figure it out. Because I ran that speech through Google Translate, and it killed itself. And watching Trump struggle through speeches like that always makes me wonder how hard it must be for the guy in charge of his teleprompter. I mean, what is it like to that guy? Well, luckily, it turns out there’s a documentary on just that very person. My name is Preston David Smith, and I operate the president’s teleprompter. You may have heard him mention me. You want me to go back on teleprompter, anybody? No. Okay, here’s a question, my poor guy must be having a fit. He’s over there. He’s so good at this stuff. He’s on line three. He’s saying “Sir, should I just turn the sucker off? ” Would you rather to teleprompter or freelance? Freelance! So basically, I’m the seat belt that sort of just keeps him safe as he just zooms down that verbal highway.
