1.People often come to talk therapy for help dealing with a major change in their lives.
当人们遇到重大变故时，常常会选择进行谈话治疗。
2.In fact, I would say dealing with change is one of the most common situations that create issues for people to address in therapy.
事实上，我可以说，处理变化是来谈话治疗的人们最常遇到的情形。
3.It could be a change in a relationship, a change within their family, or a change regarding work.
变化可能发生在一段关系中，或者家庭，又或者是工作方面。
4.It could be caused by something internal and specific to the client, or it could be something external and universal.
有可能是内在的，是客户自己特有的，又或者是外在的，大家普遍都有的。
5.The clients I see have much in common regarding the cause of the changes in their lives, as many have to do with situations created by the pandemic in some way.
我遇到的客户中很多人的生活变故都有共同之处，正如很多事情都或多或少跟疫情有关。
6.Changes like these can be harder to process than most of the relatively smaller changes we experience.
这样的变化可能比我们以前经历的那些比较小的事情要更难处理。
7.By process, I mean the work of learning to acknowledge and accept these changes.
这个处理，我指的是学会去承认并接受这些变化。
8.Once we can acknowledge and accept that change has come, and that our “normal” life has permanently changed, we can get on with the work of trying to be happy in the moment.
只有当我们承认并接受变化的来临，知道我们的“正常”生活已经永远改变了，我们才能够试着在当下去获得幸福。
9.Major changes can happen (or feel like they’ve happened) in an instant, even if they took years to slowly build up to that point.
很多大变化是一瞬间发生的（或者你感觉它们已经发生了），尽管之前是经过了日积月累。
10.Big changes like divorce, death, breakups, breakdowns — these kinds of changes create a before and an after in our lives.
一些像离婚，死亡，分手，崩溃专业的的大变化会让我们的生活有一种变化前和变化后的割裂感。
11.It often seems like we spend more time processing the aftermath of these changes than the events themselves lasted.
我们用来后续消化这些变故的时间比它们本身所持续的时间还要长。
12.During this period of time, we are likely to experience the processing of this change as anxiety or depression, and to feel the struggle to wrap our heads around the events of the past affecting us emotionally and physically in the present.
在这段时间里，我们在面对这些变化时可能会出现焦虑，抑郁，同时感觉努力挣扎摆脱过去的感觉会影响我们当下的身体和心理。
13.We might feel restless or uncomfortable, like something is nagging at us, not allowing us to be at peace.
我们可能会感觉不安，不适，仿佛有什么东西拖着我们，让人不得安宁。
14.We yearn to feel safe, and the idea of things being normal is safe.
我们渴望有安全感，而那些正常的事情是安全的。
15.Normal, by definition, is the opposite of change.
而通常，根据定义，变化就站在了安全的对立面。
16.And if things are safe now, and they don’t change, then we’re safe.
而如果事情是安全的，它们没有变化，我们就是安全的。
17.So, we strive for normal.
所以，我们会拼命维护正常。
18.But what is normal?
但，什么是正常呢？
19.Normal is, in this context, the past.
正常在这个情境中，指的是过去。
20.Normal is the safety of knowing how things turn out.
正常指的是知道事情会怎么样的一种安全感。
21.It feels good striving for a return to a sense of normalcy because we sometimes feel better thinking about the past than we do the present, where the future is uncertain.
想要回归过去的正常让我们感觉安心因为我们有时候过去比现在感觉要好，而未来又是不确定的。
22.I think what makes it hard for us to enjoy happiness in the moment is our tendency to hold on too tightly to happiness from the past.
我下这种想要牢牢抓住过去的美好的倾向会让我们难以享受当下的幸福。
23.When we idealize the past and subconsciously crave a return to that safer, more certain time, we take energy and focus away from being in the present, which is ultimately where we spend our lives.
如果我们美化了过去，下意识想要回到那个更安全，更确定的时间里，我们就需要花费能量，远离现在，而其实现在才是我们最终的生活。
24.A phrase that comes up in sessions with clients regarding this process is “let go to grow."
在面对有这种想法的客户时，一个术语叫做“任由其发展”。
25.This refers to our tendency to hold on to the past to the detriment of our future.
这是指我们停留于过去的倾向会影响我们的未来。
26.It often applies to situations in which a client feels stuck or at a dead end in life, love, or career.
通常用于客户感觉人生受挫或者走进了死胡同里，可能是爱情也可能是事业。
27.We often find that the things holding us back from changing our lives for the better are not the events that might happen to us so much as the events that have happened to us — meaning, we are ruled by our reactions and expectations to future possibilities that are based on events from much earlier in our lives.
我们经常发现那些阻碍我们生活变得更好的并不是还没有发生的事情而是已经发生的事情——也就是说，我们会受到对那些基于过去的事情而产生的对未来的可能性的反应和期望的影响。
28.How do we let go to grow?
那么，我们应该怎样任由其发展呢？
29.This is the work of talk therapy.
这就是谈话治疗要完成的工作了。
30.We talk about what we’re holding onto and why.
我们会谈论我们到底在纠结什么，以及为什么。
31.What feels good about it, what we don’t like about it.
那些过去有什么好的，有什么不喜欢的。
32.We take stock of where we are now after removing the filter of our expectations from the past.
我们会移除过去的期望的影响，来珍惜我们的当下。
33.We identify the new normals that might be available to us after periods of change.
我们会找到那些在变故之后我们能达成的新的正常秩序。
33.We identify when we’re comparing our present experience to our past expectations, and learn to let go of them.
我们要找出什么时候我们在把过去的期望跟现在的体验进行对比，并学会放下它。
34.Our present becomes the new normal.
我们的现在会成为新的正常。
35.Our experience in the post-pandemic business environment is reflective of this personal emotional state.
在后疫情时期商业环境下我们的体验是我们个人情感状态的反映。
36.The businesses that succeed seem to be the ones that adapted and incorporated lessons learned during the pandemic into their future operations.
那些成功的企业会学会适应，并把疫情期间学到的教训带入未来的运营中。
37.The ones that base their future expectations on how business was before March 2020 are going to be disappointed with how things are in the future, since things will never go back to being like there were.
而那些期望它们未来还能像2020年3月之前一样的企业则可能会很失望，因为未来可能再也不能回到之前的样子了。
38.Likewise, people who expect their emotional lives to go back to normal are going to be disappointed as well.
同样的，那些期望他们的感情生活能够回到正常的人们也可能会失望。
39.As with any major life change, the event that occurs to affect the change is just one part of it.
跟很多人生大变故一样，那些影响这些变故的事情只是其中一环。
40.It’s the change that occurs within ourselves that affects our lives the most.
更重要的是我们内心发生的变化，这才是影响我们的生活最多的。
41.How we interpret or react to the objective event causes the change.
我们对这些客观事件是如何看待和反应会导致这种改变。
42.Happier people seem to be able to adapt to changing normals more easily.
那些快乐的人们似乎能够更容易适应这种变化。
43.People who constantly talk about how things used to be before everything changed don’t seem very happy to me.
而那些 一直谈论世界改变之前事情是如何的人们则在我看来不那么幸福。
44.Let’s work on spending less time waiting for things get back to normal to be happy, and more time finding reasons to be happy right now.
让我们少花点功夫去等待事情回归以前的正规，而学会在当下找到幸福吧。
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