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After more than three decades working as a flight attendant, Sandy Stein, now 65, finally hit the jackpot.

在当了三十多年的空乘之后,如今65岁的桑迪.斯特恩终于中了头奖!

Stein was 53 when she invented the finders key purse, a tool that hooks onto a handbag and makes it simple to lift out your keys rather than digging for them.

斯特恩53岁那年发明了钥匙包,这个工具可以挂在手包上,让人们不再需要在包里掏,很方便就可以取到钥匙。 

That year, she paid cash for a fancy car, hired her first few employees and grossed $4m in sales.

那一年,她付现买了一辆豪车,雇了最早的几个员工,总销售额达到了四百万美元。

It was a dream scenario in so many ways.

从各方面来说都是梦想成真了。

 But, to Stein’s surprise, all this success led to, loneliness at home. 

然而,令斯特恩意外的是,这些成功却导致了她在家里的孤独感。

She got divorced — her husband had always been the main breadwinner and grew resentful of Stein’s sudden success, she says. 

她离了婚—他丈夫一直都是养家的人,斯特恩突然取得的成功让丈夫生厌,她说。

Some of Stein’s friendships were also strained.

斯特恩的一些友情也变得紧张起来。

“People get jealous and say or do ugly things,” she says.

“人一旦变得嫉妒,就会说出或者做出一些不堪的事来,”她说。

While most people wouldn’t give up longing for financial wealth, those who’ve experienced living the dream say it can be isolating and that their lives often look rosier from the outside.

尽管大部分人不会放弃对富有的渴望,那些真正梦想成真的人们却说这会让你被孤立起来,他们的生活在外人眼里更风光。

“When [someone] suddenly strikes it rich, the impact is profound on every part of their life,” says Dr Stephen Goldbart, co-founder of the Money, Meaning & Choices Institute, a firm that works with affluent clients.

“当某人一夜暴富之后,他们生活的方方面面都会受到巨大的影响,”斯蒂芬.高百特博士,他是“金钱,愿意与选择学会”的联合成立人,这家公司专门为富有的客户服务。

 “It can become a painful psychological experience for some people.”

这个过程对有些人们来说会是很痛苦的心理经历。

It’s easy to start to suffer from so-called “sudden wealth syndrome” and find yourself in a bit of an identity crisis while also dealing with the resulting loneliness and frustration, he adds.

这很容易让人患上“暴富综合症”,让人感觉到自己的身份危机,同时不得不面对结果导致的孤独和沮丧感,他补充道。

Many of us have had dreams and ideas on how to get rich for years.

我们中很多人多年以来都在梦想和计划着如何致富。

 But, if it happens, we’re often unprepared to handle the sudden change in behaviour of those around us.

但,如果真的有钱了,我们通常会对周围人的行为变化措手不及。

It’s not exactly something one spends a lot of time thinking about, after all. 

毕竟,大部分人都不会花很多时间思考这方面。

So when friends begin to act more distanced (or, conversely, more cosy) and family seem to suddenly meddle in your finances or want to be more involved in your life, it’s a shock. 

所以当朋友们变得更疏远(或相反,更亲近),家人突然开始干预你的财政或者想要更多地参与你的生活,这将会是一种冲击。

“All this comes surprisingly fast and it’s difficult,” says Goldbart, who often works with Silicon Valley tech entrepreneurs.

“这一切都发生得太快,其实是很难受的,”高百德说,他工作时经常面对硅谷的科技企业家们。

On the flipside, money changes people.

另一方面,金钱会改变人们。

 Sometimes the newly wealthy, whether they realise it or not, exhibit behaviours such as reckless spending or suddenly disengaging from previous interests that can “create a rift” with long-time friends and colleagues, says financial therapist Megan Ford, president of the Financial Therapy Association.

有时这些暴富的人们,无论他们意识到了没有,都会出现一些行为比如说盲目消费,或者丢弃以前的兴趣爱好,而这会在老朋友和同事们之间产生嫌隙,财务治疗师梅根.福特说,她是财务治疗协会的会长。

Friends “may not want to adapt to some of the changes created by sudden wealth”, and will push away, adding to the loneliness, she adds.

朋友们“可能会不想接受这种暴富带来的改变”,就会远离,从而增加孤独感,她补充说。

Controlling the reactions of friends and family is often the biggest hurdle.

掌控好朋友和家人的反应通常是最大的挑战。

 Outsiders often try to intertwine their life with newly-wealthy acquaintances. 

外人通常会试图干预他们认识的暴富者们的生活。

Friends and family pop up and try to strengthen ties to someone they now view as a winner, Goldbart says.

朋友和家人们也会突然冒出来想要加强他们与这个人生赢家之间的联系,高百德说。

And what would you do when friends and family start to treat you differently? 

那么当朋友和家人都对你另眼相看的时候你会怎么做呢?

Most of us would feel suspicious. 

我们中的大部分人都会感到怀疑。

Where were these friends and long lost family when you were toiling away at your day job or putting in countless hours working on a new business? 

当初你在日常生活中劳累或者在创业初期日夜操劳的时候,这些所谓的朋友和久不联系的亲戚又在哪里呢?

It’s natural to draw back, and tighten your circle of friends when you’re not entirely sure who is sidling up to you just because you’ve struck it rich.

很自然地人们就会想要退却,减小你的朋友圈,这时你没法确定谁来靠近你只是因为你突然有钱了。

“Their world becomes very small and they retreat to friendships where people are like them financially,” he says. 

“他们的圈子就变得很小,只跟同样有钱的人们做朋友,”他说。

That feeling doesn’t necessarily go away after you’ve got money and success that’s steady. 

就算你的财富和成功已经非常牢靠了,这种感觉也不一定就会消失。

Recognising who genuinely wants to befriend you gets harder — and getting it wrong a time or two usually has the expected effect — further isolation, explains Ford.

分清谁是真心跟你做朋友变得更困难—错过一两次之后你就多半会产生这样的效果—更加孤独,福尔解释说。

“It can become difficult to decipher who is genuine and who is looking to ride the coattails,” she says.

“这时根本很难分辨谁是真心的,而谁只是想借你的光,”她说。

Stein’s strained relationships haven’t improved, but she’s learned to build new relationships, she says. 

斯特恩紧张的旧友情没有得到改善,但她学会了交新朋友,她说。

Stein is now working with a core staff of five people and says she has built deeper, more trustworthy connections with her staff. 

斯特恩现在与一个五人的核心团队合作,并说她与成员们建立起了更深,更值得信任的默契。

Over time, she’s realised who her long-time friends from her flight attendant days really are — and has been generous to them.

随着时间的推移,她认识到了她过去当空乘时的老朋友们的为人—开始对他们大度多了。

 Among her favourite experiences: taking one of her best airline friends on a polar bear expedition.

她最喜欢的经历是:带一个过去飞机上的最好的朋友一起去参加北极熊冒险旅行。

“It has made me so happy to be able to do that,” she says.

“这让我感到如此快乐!”她说。

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