#EachforEqual Zhenni tellsthestoryofher name and asksa question
#每个人的平等#EachforEqual Zhenni的等号手势 Jenny in hands-out equal pose 珍妮发来的故事里,中英文以及配图均由她本人提供。作为这项活动的发起者陶理(本名:缪鑫,英文名:Hermione,陶理是笔名)在征得她同意的基础上刊出,并写了回信。The story in Chinese and English as well as this drawing are all provided by Zhenni (Jenny). And with her consent, the campaign organiser Hermione posts her story and writes back to her. 缪鑫姐啊, 我在写 each for equal,写了好多却怎么也写不成一个故事,有个疑问点想问问你,我相信人们生来是平等的,但是不知道原因和由头是什么,这个怎么去思考呢...... 我叫珍妮,95后,我出生时,家乡依旧存在重男轻女的看法,相比男孩,女孩的出生令人失望。在那样的观念中,女性仅仅因为性别身份,就被认为有既定的宿命,是比男性弱的,是必须有依附的,是个麻烦。 家人给我起名叫珍妮,珍是珍惜,妮是女子,寓意是”珍惜女孩子“。我好像是个幸运的女孩,不用直接遭受偏见,我的名字和出生,就好像是生来对抗重男轻女这一偏见的。 在二元的概念中,我相信平等,但不奢望对称。 Dear Hermione, I wrote a lot on #each for equal but I couldn’t write a story. I believe that people are born equal, but I don’t know why and how this belief came yet. My name is Jenny,born after 1995. At that time there still was a patriarchal view at my hometown. Compared to the birth boys, the birth of girls is disappointing. In that concept, women are considered to have an established fate simply because of their gender identity. They are identified to be weaker than men, to be dependent and troublesome. My family gave me the name ZHENNI(Jenny). ZHEN is cherish, Ni is girl, the meaning of ZHENNI is “to cherish girl". I seem to be a lucky girl who doesn’t need to suffer prejudice directly, and even empowered by my name, which seems to be born against patriarch. I believe in equality in dual concepts, but not hoping for symmetry. 陶理看完这段的感受:Hermione's feelings: 珍妮你好呀, 我特别你父母取这个名字的寓意,而且觉得你已经把故事讲成了。肯定很多读者和我一样,觉得很温暖感人。因为从中能感受到你父母对你这个孩子的珍惜,也能感到你的家庭氛围里一直都有对女性的尊重。 你能够意识到自己幸运地在一个珍惜自己这个孩子(不是因为性别的缘故)的家庭中成长,本身就说明你意识到了男孩和女孩从出生起可能就面临着不平等。这看起来与你相信人生而平等有些冲突了。 我关于这点有一些思考,说出来和你分享一下。我说得不一定对,只是个人的看法。我是希望能够开启更多思考与讨论,而不是给出结论。 你看到依然存在重男轻女的现象,与你相信人生而平等,其实是两个层面:前者是你和他人生活的现实世界中存在的事实,无论喜欢与否,都存在;后者是你精神世界中秉持着的信念,每个人都可以根据自己的偏好来个性化定制。 你在想原因和由头的过程中,其实是在追寻你有这个信念的缘起。对个体来说,我的理解是会和影响这个人很深的个人经历有关?在我的眼中,信念是一个人有着强烈认同的某种观点。这可能和不同形式的教育有关,家庭、学校、教堂、社会规则、法律、个人的反思等都可以在其中有助力塑造一个人的信念。我觉得应该还没有哪个因素可以说毋庸置疑,这就是所有的源头。有的时候可能这个个体也没有办法说得准到底根源是什么,因为人对自己和世界的认知也都在不断的发展。 那就谈谈目前我的认知吧。我觉得其实不止是每个人都平等,地球上所有的生灵都是平等的。但因为目前我没有信仰,所以可能不会说生而平等。我更觉得“每个人的平等”是人类在摸索和发展文明的过程中,意识到每个人的平等是一种美好的愿望和更有利于人类存续的态度选择。 我会选择追求也提倡“每个人的平等”,是因为这个活动符合我认同的人性中的美好。尽管我知道可能这永远也成不了每个人都接受的信念,更可能在我有生之年成不了事实,但还是要为我所期待看到的未来奔走呼吁。与其接受现状,先让我试试为我想看到的改变做一点事呗。这就是为什么我组织做这件事,是因为我觉得这是我认定的——对自己也对更多女性、更多人——好事。我这样做并不一定能得到其余人一致的认可,而且我也不是为了得到认可而这么做的。 我说的这个平等不是每个人都画上等号,所有人都不做任何区别对待其他人,而是认为在公领域,比如法律面前、求职与工作中,没有一个人应该因为自己的性别而被看轻。在私领域,我也希望没有人因为自己的性别被区别对待。在个人情感与交友过程中,我是不会因为性别的差异而对谁有偏见。但我的确会有自己的择友要求,我的要求与性别无关。我想大部分人都不会来者不拒的。因为一旦成为了朋友,甚至是家人,关系更亲密了,怎么可能说我对所有人都平等,所以大家都得到一样多的时间与关爱呢。这就不是平等不平等的争论了,是个人时间有限,亲疏远近有别。 最后我想说,在讨论这类有些抽象的概念型问题时要记得考虑到人以及人所处的不同情境。我的思考总是从我的个人感受出发,只要不违法犯罪、有违人伦,就将心比心地对待人。我认为呼吁每个人的平等就是说:不要先看到这是个男人、女人或跨性别者之类的,先看到对方和你一样是人。当然你平等真诚,并不意味着对方就是这么待人,要是对方让你不舒服,甚至伤害到你,你真诚地表达过后,也要意识到你没错。但毕竟自己来到这个世界上,活着一辈子,也不是为了改变谁更不是来拯救谁,还是把有限的生命都放在自己觉得值得做的事情上和珍惜你的人身上,会更不负此生。 真诚希望你爸妈给你取这个名字会让你遇见更多珍惜你这个人的人。 Hi Zhenni(Jenny), I like the meaning that your parents put in your name, and I think that's the story. You made it. I bet there are many readers like me, feeling it is quite warm and touching. Because not only your parent cherish you as their child, but also the atmosphere that your family has repsected female. The fact that you realise your fortune to grow up in a family that cherish you as a child (without considering the gender) can be a proof that you already notice male and female may face inequality since their birth. It seems to be in conflict with your belief that "people are born equal". I also have thought about this, here are my thoughts. Sharing with you does not mean my opinions are right, just some personal viewpoints. I hope that we can have more time to think and discuss, not jumping to the conclusion. The gender discrimination phenomena you see and the "people are born equal" you believe are from two worlds: the former is the world both you and me, and others live in, no matter we like it or not, still exists; the latter lives in your spiritual world, everyone can build a personalised verison according to one's preference. When you are pondering over the causes and origin, actually this process is like tracing the beginning of why you hold this belief. To an individual, I would argue that this can be related to significant personal experience. From my perspective, when someone has a strong identity to some opinion, this opnion can be their belief. Different forms of education can be related to this, family, school, church, social rules, laws, personal reflection can all play a role in forging one's belief. I would rather not to say one factor is undoubtedly the source of everything. Sometimes even the person cannot articulate the root, as a human being can always develop understandings of oneself and the world. So I can talk about my current understandings. I actually think not just everyone is equal, all the earthlings are equal. But as I do not have a belief yet, I would not use born equal. I am more inclined to say that "each for equal" is a good wish and attitude choice when human beings have been trying to sustain. I choose to pursue and advocate "each for equal" is because this campaign fits in what I identify as the virtue of human. Although this may not be a common belief accepted by everyone, nor will it be a fact in my life, but still, I would like to run for the future I am looking forward to. Instead of accept the reality, let me try to do something for the change I want to see first. This is why I organise this campaign, it is because I think this is something I think is good for me, for more women, for more human beings. I do this, not necessarily can get recognition from others, and I am not doing this for recognition. So the #EachforEqual I say is not to say everyone is equal at everything, I insist that in public sector, such as law, careerpath, no one should be discriminated due to their sex/gender. In private sector, I also hope that no one is treated differently because of their sex/gender. As far as I am involved, gender difference is not the bias I would have in making a new friend or starting a relationship. Of course I do have my standards in choosing a friend, but not related to gender. I guess most people will not say everyone is welcome. Because as we become friends, or family, the relationship is closer. It is difficult to say I treat everyone equal so everyone in my life will get the same timd and same care. Equality is not the point, life is short, so there will be differences in how you deal with your personal life. The last paragraph I want to make it clear that human and the context one lives inneeds to be taken consideration when discussing these abstract concepts. My thoughts always starts from my personal feelings, as long as what I do is not against the law or ethics, I treat people as human beings like me, with my heart. I therefore adovcate #EachforEqual as I percieve what it means: do not first consider this is a man or woman or transgender, first see the common feature, the person is also a human being, like you. Of course when you treat people equally and sincerely, does not mean they treat you the same way, if someone makes you uncomfortable or hurt you, after you express yourself, you also need to realise you are not wrong. However, you come to this world and live this life, is not to change someone or save someone, it is better if you spent your limited time on things that you think are worthwhile and people who cherish you. I sincerely hope that the name your parents give you will help you to meet more people who will also cherish you.