支招小作文（81） | 柱图6

February 24, 2022

雅思小作文系列   |  栏目推送说明

分享雅思考试小作文真题范文。每一篇范文都经由专业团队反复校对，最终外教审查定稿。成功就是日复一日那一点点小小努力的积累。

* 柱图，选自《剑桥雅思真题集13》

Introduction

Shown in the chart are the percentages of two types of housing – the owned and the rented – in England and Wales, and the investigated period spans from 1918 to 2011. The general tendency is evident. Owned accommodation increased over the years while rented accommodation decreased accordingly.

* 第一句话的倒装现象，之前已经无数次提及。得到GRA语法分数。

* 时间和地点状语没有全部堆在一个句子的尾部，而是把图中的时间跨度信息写成一个单独的分句。得到GRA语法分数。

* 第三句话是一个起到信息引导作用的短句，隔在两个较长的句子之间，用来调整段落的行文节奏。得到CC文脉分数。

Body

With increasing numbers of people purchasing homes, home ownership had increased to 50% by the year of 1971. Accordingly, the proportion of households that rent housing had a downtrend, falling to 50% in 1971. It is also noteworthy that there was a wide disparity between the two original levels – 78% versus 22%.

* 第二句的开头的accordingly非常重要：这个副词把第二句和第一句建立起了联系。得到CC文脉分数。

* 这个段落里出现的数值描述仅有3处（对应舍弃了许多没有特点的数值），足够覆盖前5组柱子（10个数值）的主要特征。得到TA内容分。

* 这个段落还有另外一个写法，如下：

The year of 1971 is particularly noticeable, since it witnessed equal shares of both types of households. Before that year, home ownership displayed a steady increase, while renting decreased accordingly. In addition, the  vast disparity between the two original levels – 78% versus 22% – is also noteworthy. 

* 这个写法就是第一句和第二句的内容逻辑与上一个段落的前两个句子不同，但是殊途同归。

During the subsequent years, households in owned accommodation showed continued overall increase and outnumbered households in rented accommodation. However, the year of 2011 is notable. In that year, there was a decline – albeit negligible – in the proportion of households living in their own property, and households in rented homes had a corresponding proportional increase. 

* 尤其注意第二个句子，又是一个起到信息引导作用的短句，隔在两个较长的句子之间，用来调整段落的行文节奏。得到CC文脉分数。

* 文中所有高亮标出的词汇都很重要，值得记忆以及勿忘使用。

Conclusion

* 本文无conclusion。如果在开头段落里有个对于图表的宏观描述，那么就可以没有总结性的段落。注意：是“可以没有”，不是“必须没有”。